As the youngest in the family, you hold a special place—forever the baby, forever cherished, and forever a little too young for the daunting world of potty training. We’ll indulge in your adorable mispronunciations, create secret words for treats, and keep those beloved baby toys around a bit longer. However, these reasons aren’t why I’m delaying your potty training journey.
Here’s the reality, dear one: I’ve been through the wringer with your older siblings.
- The constant battle of keeping underwear on.
- The frenzy of keeping those boys’ hands away from their private parts.
- The relentless checking of pants for mystery accidents.
- The unending dribbles of pee everywhere.
- The stained mattresses that seem to multiply.
- The towering pile of dirty laundry.
- The splatter marks on the bathroom walls.
- The pervasive smell of urine in every bathroom, as each one was tested multiple times daily, except when the faucet was running.
- The endless hand-washing due to the inevitable skin contact during diaper changes.
- The mess that ensues when toddlers attempt handwashing.
- The disputes over bedtime drink limits.
- The midnight awakenings from even a tiny sip of water.
- The sheer terror of public restrooms.
- The wet car seats that haunt every outing.
- The constant vigilance required for potty emergencies.
I’ll certainly assist you when you ask, but I have other priorities than questioning you every ten minutes about whether you need to go. The diaper bag is strictly for diapers, and it will be retired without transitioning into an emergency outfit carrier because I rushed the process. That bag has seen better days; it deserves a break in the backseat where it might see some action once a week before it heads to the donation center.
Truth be told, I’ve adopted a more laid-back parenting style that doesn’t align well with the demands of potty training. If you need to go and can’t manage your pants, just use the diaper. You’re only two—it’s a bit soon to be mastering the porcelain throne. My to-do list is already overwhelming without dedicating hours to monitor your bathroom trips, stopping you from using half a roll of toilet paper, rewinding it, and chasing you down for handwashing—only to repeat the whole process shortly after.
So, I’m washing my hands of this one. You’ll figure it out before kindergarten, I’m confident. And if not, perhaps your dad will step in for the potty training duties.
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Summary
This article humorously details the reasons why the author is postponing potty training for her youngest child, citing the overwhelming experiences from previous children and embracing a more relaxed approach to parenting.
Keyphrase: Potty Training Decisions
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