Recently, I overheard a man proclaim, “We are pregnant.” Instantly, I felt a surge of frustration wash over me. My cheeks flushed, and my heart raced. It took me back to countless instances during my own pregnancy when the terms “we” and “our” were thrown around, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that pregnancy is a solitary journey for the woman involved.
I hold no ill will toward those who genuinely believe that their partner shares the pregnancy experience, and I even envy them a bit. I wish I could feel the same way without spiraling into irritation. The spike in my cortisol levels upon hearing the word “we” certainly wasn’t beneficial for me or my baby, but my feelings were out of my control.
Let’s be honest: how many women say, “We are getting a vasectomy” when their partner is undergoing the procedure? Of course not! It’s the man who is getting the vasectomy; the couple is not having more children together.
This revelation hit home one evening at dinner when my partner, Mark, casually announced to his colleagues that “we are pregnant.” This was around the time my clothes stopped fitting—not in an adorable baby bump way, but in a manner that made me feel self-conscious. I was struggling to walk comfortably in my shoes, had to stop frequently to deal with nausea, and was noticing cellulite in places I didn’t want to acknowledge.
While indulging in my favorite Velveeta macaroni and cheese (which had become a staple during my pregnancy), I calmly told Mark that the only “we” in our pregnancy was when we conceived the baby. He chuckled, likely thinking I was joking. Yet, over the next several months, he continued to use “we” in reference to the pregnancy.
Depending on my hormonal fluctuations and how swollen my feet were, my response varied from sarcasm to the occasional flying object or even tears.
Here are ten reasons why the phrase “we are pregnant” falls short:
- “We” didn’t have to abstain from alcohol; I did. He merely enjoyed being the designated driver for ten months.
- “We” didn’t shed tears over the last drumstick in the freezer. That was all me.
- Six months in, “we” didn’t split the crotch of my favorite pajamas. That was solely my experience.
- “We” didn’t toss and turn all night, nor did “we” need to make 15 trips to the bathroom from 10 PM to 7 AM—again, that was me!
- “We” didn’t endure those intrusive internal exams where the doctor misleadingly claims, “You’re going to feel a little pressure.” (A note to medical professionals: there’s a vast difference between “a little pressure” and what feels like a hand invasion.)
- “We” didn’t experience sudden temperature changes causing us to break out in sweat.
- “We” didn’t dread social situations because of unpredictable gas—well, not due to pregnancy at least…
- “We” didn’t witness a birth experience that looked like a scene from a horror film; I lived it, while he merely observed.
- Similarly, “we” didn’t push something the size of a watermelon out of what once was the size of a grape.
- Finally, “we” didn’t watch my once perky breasts shrink into something resembling raisins. That was me.
While we now have a child together, it’s important to note that I was the one who carried the pregnancy!
For more insights into home insemination and related topics, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination from the Mayo Clinic. Moreover, if you’re considering home insemination, you can find valuable information about the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo at Make a Mom.
Summary
In conclusion, while pregnancy may be a shared journey in some respects, the physical and emotional burdens primarily rest on the woman. The experiences and challenges faced during pregnancy are unique and personal, deserving recognition for the individual efforts involved.
Keyphrase: “We in Pregnancy”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]