Dear Ovaries,
This is the Brain reaching out to you on behalf of the entire body with a critical announcement. First, I want to express my gratitude for your invaluable contributions to the continuation of our species. Your role in the formation of our beloved Baby 1.0 and Baby 2.0 has not gone unnoticed. The declaration of “I need a baby!” was a pivotal moment, and thanks to you, we swiftly addressed that need.
However, as we are not 19th-century farmers with a need to proliferate the family for agricultural labor, I must inform you that your services will be concluded posthaste. Following the arrival of Baby 2.0, a formal cease and desist order will be issued regarding any further baby-related activities stemming from your corpus luteum. No more reminders of the joys of newborns will be entertained, nor will we shed tears over strangers’ infants in the park.
The Nose concurs that, aside from Baby 2.0, there will be a strict no-baby-sniffing policy enforced. Should any accidental whiff of that delightful baby scent enter the air, measures will be taken to eliminate it before it reaches your intended destination.
Let’s not overlook the impact your enthusiasm has had on your neighbor, the Uterus. Over the past ten weeks, she has been on high alert, resulting in increased irritability. She has formally requested your removal from the lower abdomen, a request currently under consideration.
Before you attempt to plead your case using our heavily pregnant status as leverage, understand that any such arguments will fall on deaf ears—quite literally. The Ears, exhausted from the cacophony produced by Baby 1.0’s colicky episodes, have lodged a complaint against you. If Baby 2.0 follows suit, further eviction proceedings may be initiated.
While we want to acknowledge your contributions, it’s essential you grasp the gravity of this situation. We have no intention of adding more children to our family. Heart attacks aside, The Heart remains supportive of your endeavors, but thankfully, the decision rests with me, and I must ring the final bell on reproduction. Ding dong.
Nonetheless, due to your significant role in our family’s growth, you may continue to release eggs monthly until you reach your natural decline. As we cannot ascertain which of you is solely responsible for our offspring, both of you will receive a participation trophy as a token of our appreciation.
Barring any apocalyptic scenarios or unexpected colonization missions, please refrain from reminding us of your remaining egg supply. If storage space is a concern, consider evolving and embracing the philosophy of “less is more.”
I appreciate your understanding in this matter.
Best Regards,
The Brain
For those interested in home insemination options, we recommend checking out our article on the Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, if you want to explore effective methods for conception, the Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo is another excellent resource. For more insights into insemination success rates, refer to this WebMD article.
In summary, the message is clear: we are moving on from the need for further offspring, and your previous roles will be concluded with the birth of Baby 2.0. Thank you for your services, and may you embrace this change.
Keyphrase: Ovaries cease and desist
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