I have been conscious of my body for as long as I can recall—its dimensions, its appearance, and its strength. As a woman, I’ve been made painfully aware that my body plays a pivotal role in my perceived value in society. The ideal is to be lean yet curvy, toned but not overly muscular. And of course, it must always be thin—thinness is paramount.
However, it seems that merely being skinny is no longer sufficient. Now, the goal is to fit into those elusive size 00 jeans, and your self-worth is often tied to this unrealistic standard. You must meditate on your inner self while engaging in complex wellness rituals, all in the name of self-love and purity. Marketers have capitalized on our skewed body images, recognizing that while the aspiration remains unchanged, the route to achieving thinness has now adopted a “green” approach.
Despite the fact that I can become quite irritable when hungry, I decided to embark on a juice cleanse last month. After all, it’s a cleanse—how could that be harmful? This wouldn’t be a simple diet of grapefruits or cabbage soup; this would be a thorough purification process to rid my body of the “toxins” accumulated from my less-than-ideal lifestyle. Naturally, I opted for the deluxe package featuring vitamins and supplements, as I wanted to ensure maximum health benefits. What could possibly go wrong?
Cleanse Day 1
I woke up with enthusiasm, ready to feel smaller and cleaner. I prepared my “breakfast”—a concoction of cucumber, kale, apple, lettuce, and spinach. After a brave sip, I nearly vomited; the taste was horrendous. After some deep breaths and positive affirmations, I forced the drink down. I felt skinnier already.
Following a refreshing mid-morning juice of apple and pineapple and a surprisingly palatable cayenne-laced lemonade, I blended my dinner—a mix of carrots, apples, ginger, lemon juice, and beets. More deep breathing, more affirmations, and more gagging ensued. My final treat of the day was a cashew “milk” that tasted like watered-down cashew backwash. I went to bed early to escape the horror of day one.
Cleanse Day 2
The second day mirrored the first, but with additional headaches and fatigue. I kept telling myself that I was purging negativity along with the weight.
Cleanse Day 3
After a restless night, I resolved to reject the oppressive beauty standards that dictated my worth. I decided to quit the cleanse in solidarity with all women. But then I stepped on the scale and saw a favorable number, so I rejoined the cleanse.
Cleanse Day 4
As my mouth burned from cayenne pepper, I received a text from my partner expressing concern about my distance. I felt like I was on the brink of collapse, yet he wanted emotional connection? I was starving! I told him I would try to be more present.
Cleanse Day 5
In an effort to connect, my partner attempted to touch me, but I shot him a glare that made him retreat.
Cleanse Day 6
Waking up to a weight gain, I decided I was done. I spent the rest of the day indulging in anything within reach, feeling like a failure.
Cleanse Day 7
I returned to normal eating and began to search for other quick weight-loss solutions. I wish I could dismiss the equation I’ve internalized: skinny equals desirable equals worthy. Rewiring this belief is challenging, but I know I must start by being honest. The juice cleanse was merely another method of starvation disguised as a health initiative. I wasn’t pursuing health; I was chasing thinness. Acknowledging this is the first step toward change.
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In summary, my experience with juice cleansing was a harsh reminder that societal pressures concerning body image can lead to unhealthy practices. The quest for thinness can overshadow genuine health aspirations. Acknowledging and confronting these beliefs is crucial for a healthier outlook.
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