As I navigate the grocery store with my 3-year-old, Mia, and my 1-year-old, Noah, I find myself in a moment that is both joyful and challenging. As I load our cart with supplies for her favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Mia excitedly babbles, “Yay, Mommy! Yummy! With pink!”—her adorable way of asking for strawberry jam.
Despite her vibrant personality, Mia struggles with expressive speech delay. While she may never have uttered the words “I love you, Mommy,” her affection is evident. She gently holds my face in her tiny hands, gazing into my eyes, and greets me with a sweet, “Hi, my Mommy. Hi,” before wrapping her arms around my neck.
However, an interaction with a stranger sends my emotions spiraling. A young boy in the store blurts out, “That girl can’t talk.” In the blink of an eye, I feel an overwhelming urge to defend Mia, who, thankfully, remains blissfully unaware of the comment.
I want to explain to that boy—and his mother—that Mia has a vocabulary of her own. Since she began speech therapy at age two, she has made remarkable progress. I ponder the countless times we’ve had her hearing assessed, often wondering if her speech delay stemmed from the umbilical cord being wrapped around her neck at birth. Yet, I realize that these thoughts may just be the worries of a concerned mother.
Each day, I witness her peers engage in conversations with their parents, sharing tales of their day—stories filled with excitement and curiosity. I often question my choices: Did I spend enough time talking with her? Should I have enrolled her in daycare sooner? Was I too attached? Did I mistakenly allow her to use a pacifier until she turned three?
Parents of children with speech or developmental delays often grapple with similar concerns. The desire for answers can lead to self-blame. Society tends to hold mothers accountable, no matter the circumstance. It’s a harsh truth—the “mommy wars” manifest as judgments about everything from behavior to developmental milestones.
But it’s essential to remember: it’s not your fault. I understand Mia. She communicates in her own way, striving to be heard. I long to share with that boy how much she has grown since starting preschool, where a speech pathologist and dedicated teachers help her achieve her Individualized Education Plan (IEP) goals. Her ability to form sounds, words, and sentences is blossoming.
I wish to share how she now narrates her playtime, saying “Here, Mommy,” as she invites me to join her doll family. “Docta,” she announces, indicating they’re off to the doctor or school. She’s even begun identifying colors, and when she says “lello” for yellow, it’s a moment I never want to forget.
This year, she joined in trick-or-treating, proudly declaring “tick-teat” and “tank you,” words that her younger brother has already mastered. She beams with excitement as she talks about Santa Claus, exclaiming “Ho. Ho. Ho! Uppy, Mommy!” There’s a world of words inside her, waiting to be expressed.
As the little boy wanders out of sight, my thoughts swirl, but I refocus on Mia. She’s quiet now, her previous chatter about “pink yummies” fading.
“What a silly boy,” I say, smiling at her. “Of course, you can talk. We were just discussing yummies with green jam.”
Her laughter fills the air, and Noah joins in.
“No, Mommy! Pink!”
“Pink jam?” I prompt.
“Uh yeah!” she confirms, her joy shining through.
It’s not your fault, dear mother. One day, you’ll find yourself wishing for a moment of peace and quiet, as your child will be overflowing with words. You will cherish these memories of deciphering her language, knowing you understood her when no one else could and celebrating those delightful “pink yummies.”
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Summary:
In summary, raising a child with a speech delay presents unique challenges and emotional hurdles. As parents, we may grapple with self-doubt and societal pressures. However, understanding and celebrating our child’s progress is paramount. It’s essential to remember that these delays are not a reflection of our parenting abilities. Cherishing every small victory in communication fosters growth and connection.
Keyphrase: Speech delay in children
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