I’m the Mom of a Child Who Might Never Master Potty Training

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As my son Noah approaches his fifth birthday, I find myself reflecting on the many facets of his personality. He is intelligent, compassionate, witty, and undeniably charming. He brings joy to everyone around him, often keeping me on my toes with his playful mischief (like the time he flooded our bathroom just before the holidays). However, there’s one area where he continues to struggle: potty training.

Before you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, let me clarify. It’s not that I’ve been negligent; it’s simply a reality we are navigating together. I often feel like a failure in this regard. Over the past three years, I’ve employed every strategy imaginable. From offering rewards to implementing strict schedules, I’ve exhausted all options. We’ve even left public spaces when accidents occur, and I’ve allowed him to remain in wet clothes in hopes that he might experience some embarrassment. Alas, it hasn’t happened yet.

I’ve tried to be understanding as well. Noah was pushed into potty training at his daycare when he was just two, a time when he wasn’t truly ready. Following that, we welcomed a new sibling and relocated to a different state, which undoubtedly added stress to his little life. As a middle child, he has faced a lot of changes, so I’ve given him leeway, created various incentive charts, and worked to keep my emotions in check while disposing of yet another set of ruined underwear in the restroom of a fast-food restaurant.

While my close mom friends are aware of Noah’s challenges and have been incredibly supportive, I’ve still encountered judgment from strangers. These are the moms who feel the need to inform me when my son has an accident at the park, as if their own children—who mastered potty training at 18 months—are somehow superior. It’s infuriating to hear their thinly veiled criticisms suggesting that my approach is lazy or ineffective.

In just a few months, I’ll be registering Noah for kindergarten, a reality that feels surreal. This delightful child, whom I adore deeply, will soon be navigating the cafeteria, learning to read, and writing his name. I can’t help but worry that his ongoing potty training issues may become a source of ridicule among his peers.

Children can be unkind, and I know Noah will inevitably face teasing. I just hope that his potty training struggles won’t become a lasting label, especially during those crucial middle school years. Thankfully, this is an area that can be addressed.

Recently, I sought help from a pediatrician regarding my son’s challenges. After an evaluation, she diagnosed him with constipation, which can inhibit the body’s signals for needing to go. While I’m relieved to have a reason behind the issue—and a daily laxative solution—I recognize that patience will be key as we work through this.

Noah won’t be attending college in pull-ups. I’m hopeful that he will have mastered this skill before entering elementary school, but I’m aware that we’ll tackle that challenge if it arises. He is neither the first child to experience this nor will he be the last.

Explaining this situation to others is always difficult. It’s frustrating, and often makes me feel like I’m stuck in a defensive position, advocating for my son while also struggling with my own feelings of embarrassment. I’ve experienced a rollercoaster of emotions: from feeling like an inadequate mother to being fiercely proud of my child. Ultimately, my love for Noah drives me to do what’s best for him. As long as he knows he is supported, we will find our way through this.

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Summary

This piece discusses the struggles of a mother, Jessica, whose son Noah is nearing five years old and still not fully potty trained. It details her emotional journey through various attempts at potty training, the societal judgments she faces, and the recent diagnosis of constipation that may be contributing to his challenges. Ultimately, she emphasizes her unwavering support for her son and the hope that he will overcome this hurdle.

Keyphrase: potty training challenges

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