Updated: July 27, 2016
Originally Published: Jan. 15, 2016
In our household, my partner and I enjoy consuming alcohol; it’s a common part of our home life. We always have beer in the fridge, and after a recent trip to Trader Joe’s, we stocked up on a couple of cases of wine. Our basement shelves are home to an assortment of hard liquor bottles—some full, some half-empty, and a few nearly depleted.
We are parents to two teenage sons who often spend their time gaming or socializing with friends. Recently, a friend inquired about where we keep our alcoholic beverages. When I mentioned that they were simply on the basement shelf, her reaction was one of shock. She couldn’t comprehend how we could be so relaxed about having alcohol accessible to our teenagers without supervision. I was taken aback. Had I neglected a crucial aspect of responsible parenting? How could I have overlooked this? I had even allowed the boys to help carry the alcohol downstairs!
Initially, the thought of my sons accessing the liquor caused me a mini panic attack. Would they really be tempted to sneak a drink? Would they dare to sample the whiskey or the Southern Comfort? (Honestly, I didn’t worry too much about the wine; they can’t even remember to take out the trash, let alone figure out how to use a wine opener!) Yet, the “what-ifs” began to swirl in my mind. What if I found them unresponsive after a drinking binge? Or what if one of their friends dared them to drink? The scenarios felt endless, leading me to imagine the phone call: “Your son is intoxicated and needs a ride home.” I could foresee the awkward conversation about where he’d gotten the alcohol, and I’d likely end up taking the blame for it.
However, as I reflected further on the characteristics of my boys, I realized they are responsible individuals. They maintain good grades, adhere to curfews, and exhibit respectfulness. They are athletes and, overall, decent kids. While it’s certainly possible they might attempt to experiment with alcohol, I believe they have earned my trust. I’m confident they would make wise choices, understanding the consequences of their actions.
When they were younger, I didn’t hide sharp objects or lock up cleaning supplies. I wanted them to learn about boundaries and the importance of asking questions. Sharing stories from my own teenage years—like skipping school and attending underage parties—was my way of imparting lessons learned through experience. They understand that their grandparents trusted me just as I trust them. Making mistakes is often part of the teenage experience.
While my boys are not perfect, I refuse to succumb to the fear of locking up my alcohol. I acknowledge that I’m a parent who understands the complexities of right and wrong, and I strive to teach my children the same. I discuss underage drinking, safe relationships, and the significance of honesty. I maintain an open dialogue with them while also establishing clear boundaries.
In conclusion, my hope is that through our relationship, they will absorb the lessons I impart and that our alcohol supply will remain untouched.
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