Updated: October 15, 2023
Originally Published: January 3, 2023
Around the age of 12, I embarked on my first journey of loss. Having always carried a bit more weight as a child, shedding pounds seemed to be a recurring theme in each New Year’s resolution. My objectives frequently shifted; some years I promised to abandon habits like nail-biting, while other years saw me chasing the latest diet trend. For over three decades, I have focused on what to eliminate from my life, often overlooking what I might wish to gain instead.
Now, I find myself contemplating what I truly wish to acquire this year. Was it something I lost, or perhaps something I never possessed? It could even be that I’ve been too afraid to acknowledge it.
One significant aspect I’ve yet to truly embrace is my voice. Like many women, I have spent years adopting the opinions and feelings of others, often silencing my own inner dialogue. Whenever I muster the courage to express myself, guilt often follows. I question if I acted rightly, frequently suppressing my true self and hesitating to let my voice shape my identity.
For years, I’ve allowed this habit of silence to define me. I’ve been entrenched in the pursuit of perfection, which has only led to dissatisfaction. I’m weary of the comfort that comes from avoiding conflict and choosing the easier route over listening to my own voice.
We place immense pressure on ourselves to meet others’ expectations, leaving us feeling inadequate. Living within these self-imposed limits keeps us from exploring our true selves, the part that encourages us to embrace authenticity.
My quest to reclaim my voice has taken on new significance, especially as I observe my 8-year-old son, Lucas, navigating similar challenges. He often holds back his thoughts when prompted, instinctively deferring to others by asking, “What do you think?” I witness his internal struggle, as he grapples with self-doubt, pulling back the words he longs to express.
We engage in numerous discussions about the importance of speaking up. I encourage him to voice his opinions confidently. He absorbs my frustrations about missed opportunities and the regrets I harbor from not asserting myself.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that girls do not simply choose to silence themselves; society teaches them to do so. After much reflection, I realize that I have the power to shape who I become. My voice is not just a tool but a fundamental part of my identity that I need to cultivate.
Sometimes, I ponder why I have taken so long to find my voice and to trust in my ability to use it. Yet, I remind myself that each individual’s journey unfolds at its own pace; I will arrive at my destination when I am ready.
For those exploring their own paths to self-discovery, resources like Cleveland Clinic’s guide on intrauterine insemination can provide valuable insight, while Make a Mom’s article on fertility supplements can offer guidance on enhancing your journey.
Summary:
In reflecting upon what I aim to achieve in the new year, I recognize the importance of reclaiming my voice. By encouraging my son to express himself and breaking free from societal expectations, I hope to model authenticity and confidence. It’s a journey that unfolds at its own pace, allowing for personal growth and self-discovery.
Keyphrase: reclaiming my voice
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