By: Jessica Thompson
Updated: Feb. 6, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 29, 2022
In recent years, as my youngest child embarked on their kindergarten journey, I found myself at the center of an unexpected social phenomenon. As a stay-at-home parent, my experiences began to ignite curiosity among acquaintances, particularly those I hadn’t spoken to in years. They were eager to learn what I planned to do with my newfound free time while my kids were at school. The assumptions were plentiful; surely, I would pursue a medical degree, seek employment, or immerse myself in volunteer work. However, my true response—“I’m focusing on myself for a bit”—was met with disapproval, except from my supportive partner, who joyfully exclaimed, “Yes, darling! Your downtime means more romance for us!”
Interestingly, these inquisitive onlookers showed little interest in my tales of donning my son’s knee pads to scrub every inch of grout in our home or my commitment to mastering headstands. I couldn’t help but ponder why my choices were of such concern.
With all my children enrolled in school, I had six hours of solitude each day, five days a week—barring teachers’ workshops, holidays, and various appointments. Yet, if I chose to drop them off at daycare for a few moments of peace, it was considered unacceptable.
If I decide to breastfeed my 4-year-old and newborn simultaneously in a public setting, that’s my choice. However, if I were to attempt to breastfeed your child, that would indeed be a different matter entirely. Similarly, if I enjoy a glass of wine in front of my child, it’s not something to concern you. Conversely, if you see me driving with my kids while indulging in a bottle of red, then it becomes your business.
Consider this: if I allow my 10-year-old to walk a short distance to school with a friend, that is my prerogative. But should I leave my child (or dog) in a hot vehicle while I dash into a store with a frantic demeanor, then your intervention is warranted. If I choose to let my child have soda occasionally, that too is not for you to judge. However, if your child visits for a playdate and I decide to serve him a bacon cheeseburger despite your vegan preferences, that becomes a concern of yours.
The same principle applies to my language on social media; if I share an expletive, it’s not your affair. However, calling your child a “little rascal” is certainly a different conversation. If I opt for a night job as a performer to fund my children’s college education, that is my decision. Yet, inviting your child to witness my performance would indeed cross a boundary.
Navigating media choices is also subjective—if I let my child view a PG-13 film, it’s my judgment call. But if your daughter watches The Walking Dead with me and later has nightmares, that’s a cause for discussion.
When it comes to sensitive topics, introducing the “talk” to my child early because of a song learned from a friend isn’t your concern, but if my child teaches that song to yours, then it raises eyebrows. Even my personal timeline—approaching 25, 36, or 52 without children—should not be of your interest.
In my parenting journey, it has become clear that maintaining focus on my own family yields greater joy. With two children navigating the turbulent waters of puberty and one mastering the art of making spitballs at dinner, I have no capacity for external opinions.
In conclusion, the essence of parenting lies in personal choice and autonomy. For those looking to explore more about home insemination, check out this informative post on artificial insemination kits. For those on a similar journey, WebMD is an excellent resource for understanding the process and success rates of insemination.
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