The Battles Worth Confronting in Parenthood

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My child has been choosing to sleep on the floor since January. Fast forward to December, and here we are.

You might wonder why he’s opted for the floor instead of his bed. I wish I could provide a clear medical or psychological explanation, but the truth is, I’m not sure. It all began during the challenging phase of potty training—because doesn’t everything somehow connect back to that?

Amidst the whirlwind of caring for a newborn and managing my then two-and-a-half-year-old, he decided to reject his bed. Strange, right?

During potty training, various behaviors can emerge, such as:

  • Potential constipation
  • A change in temperament
  • Emotional or intellectual regression
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Variations in appetite

It seemed somewhat reasonable that he would choose the floor, given the chaos of potty training. After all, he was adjusting to a new sibling and the new routine of using the toilet. Life can be tough.

Initially, my husband and I thought this was a temporary phase, believing he would outgrow it in a few weeks. Yet, weeks turned into months, and soon we were staring down nearly a year of this unusual sleeping arrangement.

At first, I was quite concerned about this situation. We experimented with numerous strategies to entice him back into his bed. We offered rewards, repositioned his bed right by the door, and left twinkle lights on for ambiance. We even tried to enforce consequences, like restricting TV time if he didn’t sleep in his bed. He managed to go two whole weeks without television—a challenge more punishing for me than him. Nothing seemed to work.

Regardless of our efforts, he continued to abandon his bed each night, curling up on the floor next to the door atop his favorite blue blanket, meticulously arranged like a makeshift mattress.

Eventually, after months of this, we stopped trying to tuck him into bed and instead settled for tucking him into the floor. We would kneel down, kiss his cheek, and close the door just inches from his face. (My pre-parent self would have never imagined this!)

But that’s the reality of parenthood. Sometimes there are battles we feel compelled to fight, and at other times, we find ourselves lying alongside our child on the floor, carefully placing their beloved toy under their arm.

When asked why he prefers the floor, my son simply shrugs and says, “I like sleeping on the floor.” And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.

My husband and I have reached an understanding about this behavior: it’s not a battle worth engaging in. Sure, we could continue to pick him up and put him back in bed countless times until he concedes. We could strip away all his privileges to enforce our expectations about where he sleeps. (To be fair, we actually considered this for a brief moment.) However, we’ve chosen to let this one slide.

Parenting often revolves around discernment. Am I making the right choices? Am I being too lenient? Is this a sign of neglect? These questions swirl in our minds regularly. A significant part of discernment, I believe, hinges on one crucial question: Is this a battle worth fighting?

What I do know is this: my son has a safe home, warm pajamas, and a cozy carpet beneath him. He goes to bed with a full stomach and a clean mouth. He enjoys privileges that many children around the world do not have.

If he wants to sleep on the floor and it doesn’t hurt anyone, and he’s generally sleeping through the night, then why fuss? If he prefers granola bars and raspberries for dinner over the pasta I’ve prepared, is it really a catastrophe? He’s nourished and growing well, as confirmed by our pediatrician.

He’s three years old, sleeps on the floor nightly, and sometimes opts for snacks over meals. Do I wish he would sleep in his bed and eat a broader range of vegetables? Absolutely. Have I tried various methods to address this behavior? Without a doubt. Am I willing to engage in daily battles over it? Not really.

So, what battles are truly worth fighting? In our home, we prioritize a few essential values: kindness and respect. We strive to be kind to ourselves and others, to respect people, possessions, and our environment. We share, tell the truth, and practice gratitude. When signs of unkindness appear in our son, my husband and I prepare to stand firm. This is a battle we consider worthwhile.

For those of us raising young children, each day presents opportunities to choose our battles. Whether it’s sleeping arrangements, dietary preferences, or quirky clothing choices, it’s all part of the journey.

It’s alright if your child is a little unconventional. Mine certainly is, and I’m doing my utmost to ensure he grows up to be kind-hearted. And honestly, that’s all I desire for your child too. Your kid can come over dressed up in their favorite costume, complete with goggles and a bag of snacks. I’m fully on board with embracing their unique traits.

I trust my son will eventually choose his bed over the floor sometime before heading off to college. In the meantime, we’re gifting him a sleeping bag for Christmas.

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In summary, parenting is filled with choices about which battles to engage in. While it’s tempting to take a stand on every issue, sometimes it’s more beneficial to let things be, focusing on the values that truly matter.

Keyphrase: Parenting Challenges
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