Recently, a close acquaintance of mine reached out in distress. Her text read, “I can’t stand anything or anyone.” Though we don’t regularly communicate, we tend to connect during our most challenging moments. She is a mother to a 5-year-old and a 9-month-old.
Her message continued, “Does wanting to give my kids away make me a bad parent? The oldest complains nonstop, and the youngest won’t stop crying. I might need to check myself into a facility.” I replied humorously, “Absolutely! We’re both bad parents together on this proverbial bad parent bus. And let’s be honest—would you really want to ride with someone who claims their kids are perfect?”
At that moment, her husband was occupied watching TV with their older child while the baby was in the crib, wailing. I suggested, “Scream into a pillow, lie outside and gaze at the sky. You’ve earned the right to take a break. Go ahead, have a drink.”
Soon, texting felt inadequate, so I called her, urging her to vent. “I’m just exhausted,” she confessed. “I know this phase will pass, and things will improve when the baby turns one, but the whining from my oldest is relentless, and I feel like I’m failing them both.”
Listening to her, I realized how deeply I could relate. I recalled my own experiences and how I felt like I was finally emerging from the haze of those difficult years. We shared a laugh, and I recounted my own coping strategies: writing, a bit of self-deprecation, and yes, the occasional cigarette for a brief escape after the kids were asleep.
As she continued to express her frustrations, I thought back to my own challenges—those relentless 18 months filled with non-stop crying and whining. She reassured herself, “I know it will get easier soon.” My mental response was, “If by ‘soon’ you mean 18 months from now, then yes.”
I recognized that she was entering the same tumultuous stage I had just exited. Although I still face challenges, the chaos of irrational toddlerhood has subsided for me. I realized I might genuinely be on the other side.
Parenting has become (slightly) more manageable, but it still feels like herding cats and repeating myself endlessly, negotiating with a spirited 2½-year-old. It involves rolling my eyes and losing patience when my 4-year-old reacts dramatically to a simple “no.”
While the sleepless nights and pacifier dramas persist, things are indeed easier now. It was eye-opening to be the one offering support rather than seeking it, to hear another parent lament about their difficult child, and respond with understanding, “I know. I’ve been there. I can’t recall how I got through it, but I assure you, you will too.”
The perspective changes as time passes, and while the road ahead may still seem overwhelming, there is solace in knowing it does get better. I think I’ll treat myself to a drink—I’ve certainly earned it.
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and while the struggles can feel insurmountable at times, support from others who have been there can make all the difference.
Keyphrase: Parenting challenges and support
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