In contemporary society, there exists a pervasive perception that mothers possess an innate ability to juggle various responsibilities with ease. Observers often assume that I, like many mothers, lead a life of seamless organization and confidence while raising my three children, maintaining a household, and engaging in writing endeavors. However, the truth is far more complex.
The reality of parenting often resembles navigating the complexities of sailing a yacht without prior knowledge of the craft. While I manage to carve out time for writing, reading, and even moments of leisure, the struggles I face are often invisible to others. My successes in writing may be evident, but the setbacks and challenges remain solely mine to confront.
Being a mom does not equate to losing one’s identity in the demands of motherhood; rather, it embodies a delicate balance. For me, being “just a mom” encompasses the following key responsibilities:
- Ensuring my children’s safety and well-being
- Dressing them appropriately for the weather, although color coordination is optional
- Providing nutritious meals and ensuring they receive adequate rest
- Guiding them to become productive and well-adjusted members of society
This list may seem straightforward, but motherhood is often accompanied by a plethora of additional roles that I do not embrace.
- I am not a chauffeur. In fact, I do not drive and prefer to avoid the hustle of transporting my kids to every after-school activity.
- I am not an educator. While I value education and played a role in teaching my children to read, I leave their formal education to the schools. Homework is their responsibility, although I do monitor their progress.
- I am not a gourmet chef. I enjoy cooking for myself, but I am equally content serving quick meals like hot dogs or pre-made options based on my mood.
- I am not a housekeeper. Maintaining a pristine home is not my priority. I encourage my children to tidy up after themselves and learn basic chores, and we even have a cleaner who assists weekly.
- I am not a mind reader. I do not believe it’s my obligation to anticipate my children’s every need or behavior. There are more significant concerns to address.
- I am not a detective. It is not my duty to locate lost items or decipher sibling disputes. If something is misplaced, it’s a learning opportunity for them.
- I am not an entertainer. My children have toys and friends to keep them occupied, as well as access to digital entertainment.
By embracing the notion of being “just a mom,” I free myself to engage in activities beyond motherhood, such as reading, writing, and socializing.
While some women find fulfillment in fully immersing themselves in motherhood—organizing activities, creating art projects, or planning elaborate birthday celebrations—I have realized that this level of involvement is not for me. After years of grappling with this, I have come to accept that being just a mom is more than sufficient.
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In conclusion, embracing the identity of being “just a mom” is a profound recognition of the complexities and realities of motherhood. It is a choice that allows for personal fulfillment while ensuring that my children are nurtured and loved.
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