By: Emily Carter
Date: December 19, 2015
While browsing through my social media feed recently, I encountered a rather frustrating post. A college acquaintance shared a sentiment that went something like this: “Why complain about how lazy your husband is? If he behaves so poorly, why did you marry him in the first place?” She wasn’t directing this at anyone specific, but it was evident that she had a circle of friends who frequently aired grievances about their partners.
The post didn’t directly offend me—I don’t typically air my marital issues online. My social media presence is mostly limited to sharing pictures of my children dressed up in various costumes, amusing articles, or participating in promotions for free samples. Yet, the post rubbed me the wrong way for several reasons.
First, it came across as a thinly veiled boast about her own marriage. Okay, we get it. Your marriage is flawless. Perhaps we should hold a parade in your honor! I, however, reside in a beautifully transparent glass house and refrain from casting stones at my friends’ marital struggles. While I appreciate stories of happy relationships, the tone of her post felt self-righteous, which can be irritating. Most of us wouldn’t admit to marrying lazy partners—at least not on purpose. We married the men we cherish, but that doesn’t mean we’re without complaints. If my spouse were to engage with social media, he could certainly share amusing anecdotes about my own flaws. Every marriage has its challenges.
Second, many individuals share these experiences to inject humor into their lives. I recount stories from my own life, selectively choosing those that are entertaining. When my husband is part of the narrative, it often turns into one of two scenarios: either a heartfelt tale showcasing his kindness (like when he took it upon himself to wash every piece of laundry during a particularly stressful time) or a humorous account of his shortcomings (such as when he left that enormous pile of laundry on the floor afterward). In my case, the latter often tends to be the funnier story. I aim to provide a balanced view, using these anecdotes as a humorous outlet to gain perspective. In the grand scheme of marriage, is a massive pile of laundry truly catastrophic? I think not.
Finally, some individuals simply need to vent. This process is vital because bottling up frustrations can lead to an emotional explosion. Sometimes, expressing frustrations can alleviate tension. It’s important to consider the individual sharing the story. If a friend frequently criticizes her spouse, she might be going through a tough period. A supportive friend could offer assistance rather than publicly shaming her on social media. If she’s merely an acquaintance, and her complaints irk you, consider hitting “unfollow.” This way, she can vent freely, and you can continue enjoying your feed without disruption.
Her post served as a reminder of several key points:
- Marriage can transform individuals. Don’t blame yourself or others for not recognizing changes—some spouses may behave differently after tying the knot. If sharing a funny story about your spouse helps maintain your relationship, don’t hesitate to share.
- Humor may be a mask for deeper issues. If you suspect a friend is simply seeking laughs or venting, let her be. But, if you believe she genuinely requires assistance, think of ways to support her appropriately.
- It’s best to refrain from airing private matters on social media! Even if your intentions are good, someone may react negatively to your sharing.
In conclusion, while venting about one’s spouse does not necessarily signal a need for divorce, it can reflect underlying issues or simply serve as a humorous outlet for the complexities of marriage. Understanding these nuances can help foster empathy rather than judgment.
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