“Make sure to cherish these moments,” a woman in line at the grocery store remarked to me, “They fly by.” I’ve encountered such sentiments numerous times before.
I have heard, “It’s over before you realize it.”
“They grow up so quickly. Your little one will be a teenager before you know it.”
“One day, you’ll wake up and she’ll be preparing for her wedding.”
If I had a burrito for every time someone felt the need to imply that I wasn’t fully appreciating every moment of motherhood, I’d be quite unhealthy, excessively full, and frankly, quite odorous. It seems this is a common experience for many parents.
Initially, remarks like these would provoke a visceral reaction in me, especially when they surfaced during particularly chaotic moments. Picture me, an overwhelmed parent, juggling a shopping list while my 15-month-old is happily munching on a snack I hastily grabbed to distract her from the fragile ceramic display of mugs. It’s even worse when those comments come while I’m struggling with tangled hair and mismatched socks, a heavy toddler precariously balanced under my arm as I attempt to make a quick exit from a store. It’s almost as if the onlookers believe they are providing comfort with their “you’ll miss this when it’s gone” comments, unaware of the reality of my situation.
In those moments, I’ve felt the urge to retort with, “What are you suggesting? That I’m not in awe of every fleeting second with my child?” Yet, I often resort to a polite, albeit insincere, response like, “Oh really? Absolutely,” all while rushing to the car to avoid an impending meltdown.
But now I’ve come to a different understanding. These comments are less about my parenting and more about their own experiences and feelings.
As I nestled with my now 19-month-old daughter this evening, she went through her bedtime routine, saying goodnight to various toys and family members. I reflected on the past few days, where she has been bursting with language, picking up new words at an astonishing rate. She eagerly asks for us to recite the alphabet. The sheer volume of multi-word phrases she’s using is remarkable.
However, it’s essential to note that our journey is not all sunshine and rainbows. There have been significant challenges— the struggles of breastfeeding, the endless witching hours, postpartum anxiety, and the ever-present motherly guilt. And now, the tantrums!
The journey, filled with both highs and lows—like mastering the swaddle or finally weaning after many trials—has indeed felt like a blur. It’s akin to this exhilarating yet daunting roller coaster ride, where I brace for the drop, both anticipating and dreading it simultaneously. Because, let’s face it, “It goes by so fast.”
And it truly does.
In retrospect, didn’t I just endure the most challenging 36 hours of labor, only to see my baby girl whisked away for emergency care, only to hear her scream moments later? Didn’t I just experience overwhelming joy when she was finally laid on my chest, her skin soft and perfect, mere minutes after that traumatic beginning?
Didn’t I just weep at the hospital because the cute outfits I had packed for her were far too large, wanting her to look adorable on her way home? Didn’t I just feel the exhaustion and post-birth pain while being overwhelmed by a love so profound it felt all-consuming?
All of this seems like it happened just moments ago. The woman in the grocery store is likely reminiscing about her own experiences as she observes my little one trying to stand in a moving cart. She’s reflecting on her own journey through motherhood, the first moments, and the challenges she faced. Perhaps she’s thinking about her own child, who may no longer be a baby, and feeling a sense of nostalgia for the time that’s passed.
Next time someone tells me, “Before you know it, she’ll be driving a car. Savor every moment,” I will genuinely smile and respond, “Thank you. I certainly will.”
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Summary:
This reflection on parenthood captures the fleeting nature of childhood, emphasizing the importance of cherishing every moment. Amidst the challenges and joys of raising a child, parents often receive unsolicited advice that can feel out of touch with their reality. Recognizing the experiences of others can help foster understanding and support among parents as they navigate the roller coaster of raising children.
Keyphrase: They grow up so quickly
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