As parents of high school students are well aware, the SAT is undergoing significant changes. While there has been much speculation about what the new version of the Scholastic Assessment Test will entail, the true nature of the exam won’t be revealed until anxious high schoolers confront it in March 2016.
The College Board, the organization responsible for administering the SAT, states that the test evaluates essential reading, writing, and math skills that students acquire in school and that are vital for success in college and beyond. But does this evaluation truly reflect the preparedness of 16- and 17-year-olds for real-life challenges? Does a standardized score adequately measure readiness for life at a university, where students are expected to navigate without parental support? One can only hope that the College Board consulted mothers in crafting the new test, as we might see questions like these:
-
The kitchen waste bin is overflowing. What is the most effective way to resolve this?
- a) Ignore it
- b) Leave it for mom to manage.
- c) Use your physical strength to remove the full bag, tie it up, take it outside to the main trash, and replace it with a new bag.
- d) This situation is unsolvable.
-
There is only one square of toilet paper left when Sibling A enters the bathroom. What is the likelihood that Sibling B will have toilet paper for their subsequent emergency?
- a) 100%
- b) 0%
- c) Pi
- d) The answer depends on mom’s proximity to the bathroom.
-
Student C’s soccer uniform is dirty and has a game tomorrow. What scientific principle will ensure its cleanliness?
- a) Mitosis
- b) Mom’s sensory perceptions will trigger her to manage the laundry.
- c) Student C must figure out how to operate the washing machine and do it themselves tonight.
- d) Fairies.
-
Teen D possesses an iPhone, iPad, laptop, and a scientific calculator that is exponentially more powerful than the Apollo 11 spacecraft. What is the probability that Teen D can operate the dishwasher at home?
- a) 100%
- b) 0%
- c) Hydrogen bonds
- d) None of the above.
-
There are two juice boxes in the fridge and 24 in the basement. Three siblings need juice for their after-school activities. How long will it take to resolve this issue?
- a) 2 minutes
- b) 10 minutes
- c) 60 minutes
- d) Time is irrelevant, as a dispute over who must retrieve the juice will result in all siblings being punished and forced to take water bottles instead.
-
The human body sheds approximately 30,000 to 40,000 dead skin cells daily. Based on this rate, how frequently should bed sheets be laundered?
- a) Daily
- b) Weekly
- c) Never
- d) Bed sheets are meant to be changed?
-
If the Spanish Club is hosting their annual Fiesta on Friday, what is the probability that Julia has purchased all the ingredients for the gluten-free churros she volunteered to contribute by Thursday at 10 PM? Is this likelihood equal to, greater than, or less than that of her asking her mother to prepare and fry them instead?
- a) Equal
- b) Greater
- c) Less
- d) None of the above. Julia has completely forgotten about the churros.
It’s clear that I need to find a new SAT tutor immediately.
For more information on home insemination kits, you can check out this post. Additionally, if you’re looking for ways to boost male fertility, consider this fertility booster for men as an authoritative source. For comprehensive insights into pregnancy and home insemination, WebMD provides excellent resources.
In summary, if mothers were responsible for designing the SAT, it would likely include practical questions that reflect the everyday realities and challenges faced by teenagers, ensuring they are not just academically ready but also equipped for the practicalities of adult life.
Keyphrase: New SAT design by mothers
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]