Reflections on Embracing the ‘Before’ of Parenting

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By: Clara Bennett

Updated: July 30, 2019

Originally Published: November 16, 2015

As someone who finds joy in watching home renovations on television, I often lose myself in the mesmerizing transformations showcased on various home improvement channels. The “before” stages of a house captivate me, and I eagerly anticipate the stunning “after” reveals. I’ve frequently gazed at my outdated bathroom, envisioning how it could be revitalized by a skilled crew, replacing the worn formica vanity and outdated tiles with something more contemporary.

I often fantasize about the possibilities that await us once our children have left home—a time when we could invest in enhancements that would elevate our quaint 1970s ranch house. I picture stylish furniture and pristine walls, with far fewer crumbs littered beneath the kitchen table. Yet, as I ponder this future, I’m met with a wave of uncertainty. Would I genuinely wish to cover up the scuff marks left by backpacks and toys? Would I be ready to erase the trace of childhood that is etched into the walls?

The black Sharpie doodles my toddler left on the yellow-painted wall heater might evoke nostalgia. Would I cherish those memories or find it easier to paint over them? Moreover, could I bear to dismantle the homemade treehouse and swing set, knowing they’d sit neglected, gathering leaves and dust? I can empathize with parents who struggle to part with the outdoor toys like Big Wheels and bubble mowers, relics of a time when weekend yard work was a family affair.

What about the little garments my children insisted on wearing? The capes and costumes, or their first oversized backpacks that seemed to swallow them whole on their first day of school? I once thought I’d relish getting rid of that cumbersome train table, yet I still picture their laughter echoing through the living room as they played.

As toys evolve into video game controllers, I know even those will eventually gather dust. I might hesitate to patch up the mantle where nails once held Christmas stockings or to dispose of that crooked tree adorned with dollar store decorations that brought joy during the holidays. Would I feel comfortable hanging their handmade ornaments on a tree that stands straight and pristine?

Juice-stained couch cushions might elicit fond memories, reminding me of the boys using them as launch pads during their playful antics. Could I really fill the hole in the wall created during a particularly spirited wrestling match? The ceiling stain from a minor mishap while crafting syrup for snow cones might become a cherished reminder of chaotic family fun. Would I find myself yearning for extra blankets on the couch, missing the warmth and closeness of my children’s tiny bodies snuggling beside me?

The little footprints on the wall and the various holes dug in the yard—could I part with those remnants of a bustling childhood? Would I need a renovation team to restore a bit of chaos in my home once the children have moved out, filling the silence that is certain to descend?

If a renovation crew were to knock on my door after this new chapter begins, offering a hassle-free remodel of my kitchen and bathrooms at no cost, I might consider their proposal. However, barring such an extraordinary opportunity, I believe I’d find contentment in lingering amidst the “before,” cherishing the imperfections and memories that define our family life.

For those navigating similar reflections, this article touches on the intimacy of family life, and for further insights into the journey of parenthood, check out this blog post. Additionally, Make A Mom is an authority on home insemination kits, providing helpful resources. If you’re seeking more guidance on pregnancy and insemination, the NHS offers excellent information.

In summary, as we approach the inevitable transitions of parenting, it’s vital to reflect on the memories tied to the “before” moments. Rather than rushing to renovate our homes and erase the traces of childhood, we might find joy in embracing these memories.

Keyphrase: Parenting Reflections

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