In the quiet hours of the night, I often find myself haunted by the image of “the other mother.” This is the mother who readily agrees to every request from her children: “Yes” to playtime, “Yes” to storytime, and “Yes” to baking adventures. Unfortunately, I do not embody that mother.
I contemplate how I might transform into her, crafting lists of all the ways I could change. I would abandon the obsession with a tidy house, opting instead to build Lego creations with my kids. I would ask my partner to take the children to the park without worrying about unfinished work. I would immerse myself in the present moment, letting go of my tendency to plan for the future instead of savoring today.
I envision a mother who prioritizes play over chores, a mother unconcerned by the mixing of Play-Doh colors. She is the one who remains calm at 7 a.m., even when shoes are not yet on and time is running short. That mother exists in my dreams, while I remain grounded in my reality.
I wish I could embrace a more relaxed approach. I long for a day when I wouldn’t fret about whether they finished their lunch during my absence. Sometimes, I wish I could let go of the need for constant updates about their activities or stop worrying about wet jeans and spare clothes.
However, I am not that mother. Instead, I find myself anxious, overly focused on perfection, and unable to let small issues fade into the background. The pressure to be the ideal parent often leads me to raise my voice unnecessarily and lose patience. The irony is that my desire to be perfect may prevent me from being the mother my children truly need.
I yearn to release the guilt that comes with my self-imposed standards. Yet, I frequently find myself prioritizing chores like folding laundry over quality time, all while my son eagerly awaits a game of dinosaurs. I know this is not how it should be, and I wish I could change, but it feels impossible. I’m simply not that mother.
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In summary, the internal struggle between the desire to be a more relaxed, playful parent and the reality of being a perfectionist is a common challenge. The image of the “ideal mother” often contrasts sharply with the pressures and expectations we place on ourselves.
Keyphrase: maternal expectations
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