5 Reasons I Discarded the RH Teen Catalog

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When iconic personalities like Lionel Richie and Jimmy Fallon pop up on your social media singing “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” you can’t help but think it’s a cosmic hint. It’s as if you’ve been reminded of something you didn’t know you were searching for. And there it was, nestled among my mail: the debut issue of RH Teen!

To clarify, I wasn’t actively seeking Restoration Hardware’s latest teen catalog. As a child of the ’80s, my concept of teen room aesthetics was shaped by John Hughes films, friends’ spaces, and the lava lamps at Spencer’s Gifts. My own bedroom makeover consisted of a new rug, mirrored closet doors, and walls adorned with posters from The Outsiders (Stay gold, Ponyboy).

My children, however, have a plethora of options when it comes to teenage decor. We generally lean towards Ikea and unique secondhand treasures for their rooms, yet someone at Restoration Hardware seems to believe there’s a niche for RH Teen in our household. So, I decided to explore. Here are five insights I gathered from RH Teen’s offerings:

1. Furniture That Speaks for Itself

RH lets the furniture speak for itself. The “Perfect Somewhere” bedroom concept, for instance, needs no introduction except to declare it “the one space where you create your own rules.” But who exactly is “you”? Is it the teens? And where does that leave the one responsible for the bills? A combination of that furniture, a mirror, and a requisite crystal chandelier totals around $12,000. A suggestion for RH Teen: Include a mandatory exit strategy in that ideal desk drawer; teens whose parents invest heavily in their decor may develop a reluctance to leave the nest.

2. The Cost of Comfort

Speaking of costs, why not add the $3,419 Rylin Tufted White Velvet Chaise and Loveseat Lounge Set? One glaring issue with this material: Do RH Teens not partake in snacks in their lounging areas? The teens I know love to lounge and munch. However, the white velvet chaise would be suitable if your teen’s diet consists solely of milk, plain yogurt, and snacks from Whole Foods. (You’re welcome, RH Teen. This is crucial information.)

3. Questionable Art Pricing

The “All Good Things Are Wild And Free” quote art priced at $139 raises questions. If this art is a good thing, why isn’t it free? Or is it merely mediocre, thus justifying the price? How does this sentiment connect to the “Perfect Somewhere” bedroom, which is presumably good since it’s perfect and costs $12,000—definitely wild but hardly free. So it’s free for the wild teens but not for their weary parents? I see the connection now.

4. The Irony of Perfection

Then there’s the “perfect is boring” sign selling for $199. Are you implying that your “Perfect Somewhere” bedroom is boring? You’re teasing us, aren’t you?

5. Mixed Messages

For those seeking simpler, more relatable messages, the “I Want It All Pillow” at $49 fits the bill. What better way to prepare our teens for adulthood than with a pillow that encourages them to desire everything? (Just please, avoid the Orbit Faux Fur Chair, as that is a staggering $1,799.)

This brings me to a significant observation: RH Teen overlooked a few essentials. It’s understandable. Teens are a new market for you. After years of catering to affluent adults and their toddlers, teens represent the final frontier. As a parent of both a teen and a tween, here are my recommendations for RH Teen:

Firstly, if we adults received that impressive 17-pound collection of 13 Restoration Hardware sourcebooks last summer, shouldn’t teens be granted at least two catalogs? Introducing the latest sourcebook in the RH Teen series: Trough and Hook.

Parents of teenagers will agree that many of them do little when it comes to their laundry. Those elegant dressers in RH Teen? They’ll often remain empty while clothes are strewn about the room—occasionally in a creative manner, but more often than not, it resembles a disaster zone.

Enter the trough, an essential in the teen laundry accessory line. Originally designed for animals’ feed, these long containers need not be restricted to slop. Their design offers both practicality and a touch of whimsy, perfect for teens seeking their “every day is a spa day” pin dot spa wrap ($49). Troughs (starting at $599) provide a convenient space without the hassle of opening drawers. Crafted by dedicated artisans, they’re ideal for the teen who prefers simplicity.

And for the teen who can’t be bothered with hangers? Behold, the hooks! Picture a rustic hook made from reclaimed metal. No longer will teens have to deal with the hassle of hangers; they can simply toss their clothes in the general vicinity of the hook, maximizing their lounging time. RH Teen hooks will retail for $120 each.

However, there’s one type of parent you likely won’t reach—the one who can create similar items for a mere $4 from what’s lying around in the basement.

Also, there’s that saving for college dilemma. To those rebellious parents, we say stay gold. Speaking of gold, when your teen insists they need an RH Teen bedroom, show them the “It Is What It Is” metallic gold foil art priced at $179. Together, walk that catalog to the recycling bin while smiling and saying “Carpe Diem” ($399 for a salvaged shadow box quote art).

Really, check that last one out. It’s essentially a wrinkled piece of paper for $399. They must be teasing us. On a positive note, it’s reassuring to know that RH engages in recycling too.

In conclusion, while the RH Teen catalog may present an intriguing collection of items, the pricing and messages leave much to be desired. As a parent, it’s important to strike a balance between style and practicality when it comes to decorating a teenager’s space.

Keyphrase: RH Teen Catalog Critique
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