By: Lisa Thompson
Date: November 9, 2015
My son is a reflective, literature-loving, slightly quirky individual. He has a tendency to be absent-minded, fiercely focused, and often gets emotional over the smallest of sentiments.
In many ways, he is a mirror reflection of me. This resemblance can be both enlightening and incredibly frustrating. For instance, he immerses himself in a book to such an extent that a freight truck could rumble through the living room, and he wouldn’t bat an eye. He shares my capacity for calmness—until a seemingly innocuous moment, like his sister making a silly face, sends him into a tearful spiral for hours. Raising this younger version of myself is a journey filled with both insight and exasperation.
Here are ten insights into this experience:
- Whenever he pulls a goofy stunt, my genetics take the fall. For example, when he stands perplexed in front of the mirror, toothbrush in hand, my partner comments, “Wow, he’s definitely your son.” It’s a painful truth.
- I’m hardly a paragon of adulthood. When I reprimand him for speaking with his mouth full, it’s hard for him to take me seriously—especially since I’m guilty of the same offense.
- I can read his thoughts like a book, which can be a double-edged sword, especially when he glares at me after I confiscate the iPad.
- I recognize he wrestles with the same challenges I once did. For instance, learning common sense is a rite of passage that comes with its fair share of humiliation. I once managed to turn my parents’ garage into a dusty mess simply by sweeping with the door open.
- I find myself less frustrated with my daughter, who mirrors my partner’s characteristics, making her easier to comprehend and manage.
- Through this experience, I’ve come to terms with my own shortcomings. I struggle to listen, have no sense of direction, and frequently forget things. My son embodies those traits, making it a frustrating yet relatable experience.
- I genuinely want to support him in finding solutions, but I understand that he’ll ultimately learn more through his own failures—just like I did. He needs to face challenges, stumble, and learn from those experiences.
- During parent-teacher conferences, I now sit on the other side of the table, hearing tales that echo my own childhood misadventures—crushes, silly antics, and love letters. At least his math grades offer some consolation.
- Engaging with a younger version of myself feels like a never-ending argument. We can easily talk in circles until we’re both exasperated.
- I must relive every awkward social situation through him. With his sensitive heart, he will inevitably face disappointments and feelings of isolation in social settings.
I can only hope to guide him through life as best as I can, even if my guidance isn’t always perfect. After all, that’s why we welcomed his little sister into our lives.
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Summary:
Raising a child who mirrors your own traits can be both enlightening and frustrating. A mother reflects on the challenges of parenting a son who embodies her quirks, from absent-mindedness to emotional sensitivity. The journey involves navigating shared struggles, learning from failures, and finding a way to guide him through life’s ups and downs while also recognizing one’s own flaws.
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