Ditching the Autopilot: A Mother’s Journey Beyond Routine

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As the school year kicks off, I find myself once again in the driver’s seat, navigating the daily routine of transporting my kids from one place to another.

My youngest, freshly returned from preschool, hops in with tales of a mischievous raccoon named Chester, who is apparently running amok at her school, handing out candy. I suspect Chester is a figment of her imagination, but I nod along, my attention split as my mind drifts to an endless to-do list. I respond to her jubilant question, “Isn’t that hilarious, Mommy?” with a forced chuckle, completely oblivious to the implications of my agreement.

As I maneuver through familiar intersections and past our local grocery store, my focus remains split. I barely register the ‘For Sale’ sign at one neighbor’s house or the new porch on another’s. Soon enough, I pick up my middle child, who enters the car with a slouched demeanor typical of his age.

“Did you hand in your notecards?” I ask, receiving a curt nod in response. “Who did you sit with at lunch?” I inquire, only to receive a terse “The usual.” My attempts at conversation are met with eye rolls and a palpable sense of annoyance. I grip the steering wheel, feeling the tension rise, and crank up the radio to drown out the silence.

The dynamic shifts dramatically as the youngest begins to sing along to the music, prompting an argument with her older brother, who’s tired of the same song. I attempt to intervene half-heartedly, “Oh, just stop it, you guys.” I question whether I even voiced those words as they seem to fall on deaf ears.

The car ride continues to our final stop, where my second grader bounds in with excitement, ready to share her newfound knowledge about sharks. “Did you know sharks have rows of teeth? Some eat flankton, or is it plankton?” she asks. My middle child corrects her, and suddenly, laughter erupts as she shares that sharks can have 100 babies and, amusingly, “make poo!” The atmosphere shifts; I can see the joy radiating from their faces.

In that moment, I consciously decide to shed my “Robot Mom” persona and engage. I listen, encourage their excitement, and even chuckle genuinely at their banter. It’s all too easy to slip into autopilot mode amidst the chaos of daily life, especially as they grow older and require less of my physical presence.

Yet, I realize how crucial it is to be present. My journey through motherhood has been anything but routine—from the early days spent in surgical wards and NICU incubators to the countless hours I’ve devoted to their health and happiness. I’ve supported them through milestones, treasured stories, and countless adventures, both grand and mundane.

While I may often feel like their chauffeur or chef, it is vital that I embrace my role as their mother. They need me to be present—emotionally and mentally. Each moment spent together is fleeting, and I want them to know that they are cherished.

In the future, my car may not be filled with laughter and stories, and I will miss the vibrant conversations that once echoed in the back seat. But for now, it’s a space of connection and engagement, just as sacred as the rocking chair I once used to soothe them or the padded floor where they took their first steps.

I know there will be days when Robot Mom resurfaces, especially during exhausting afternoons. However, when that happens, I hope to catch myself in time and remind myself of the joy I might miss if I allow the monotony to take over. Perhaps, just like exploring topics on home insemination through resources like Make A Mom, I can rediscover the beauty in the everyday moments with my children.

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Summary:

The article explores the challenges of maintaining presence in motherhood amidst routine and distractions. It highlights the importance of emotional engagement with children, moving away from an autopilot mindset, and cherishing the fleeting moments of connection during car rides and daily interactions.

Keyphrase:

Motherhood engagement

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