The moving truck sits in the driveway, filled to the brim with belongings. I stand beside my partner, watching the scene unfold as if it were a surreal dream. My body is anchored in place, yet my thoughts and emotions are racing—soaring high and then plummeting back down.
Are we really letting her go?
Our daughter, now 18, is preparing for her journey from Austin to Los Angeles. She’s chosen to take a gap year to intern and experience independence. As she embarks on this new chapter, I am swept up in a whirlwind of excitement and anxiety, happiness and trepidation—there should be a term for this complex mix of feelings.
In the midst of this chaos, several thoughts echo in my mind:
- How is this even permissible?
- We allow 18-year-olds to live independently? What wisdom does an 18-year-old possess? She can’t even manage her dishes properly. How will she handle her finances or flourish in her job or studies without knowing her true passion? Is it reasonable to expect her to make wise choices with a still-developing brain? Wouldn’t 30 be a more suitable age for such responsibilities?
Did I prepare her adequately?
- Did I read enough parenting resources? Did I dismiss the advice that didn’t resonate? Did I provide sufficient guidance while allowing her to make her own choices? Did I educate her about important life topics? Did I teach her to navigate life’s complexities, like cautious driving? Did I instill in her the value of hard work, regardless of the outcome? Did I help her understand her worth?
Will she thrive?
- Will she forge friendships? Will she find joy in her work? Will she stay safe on the tricky L.A. freeways? Will she know to use rideshare services for safe travel? Will she be steadfast in her beliefs while remaining open to growth? Will she discover her passions and connect her daily life to a greater purpose? Will she cultivate love and be loved in return?
As I stand there, hand in hand with my partner, our daughter returns from an errand in his car. In her haste, she misjudges the space and accidentally bumps into my vehicle. We exchange a knowing glance and embrace tightly, the weight of our worries momentarily lightened.
This overwhelming mix of emotions is reminiscent of when I brought my newborns home for the first time. Although my 18-year-old is my stepdaughter, I felt these same sentiments with my two younger daughters—excitement, concern, curiosity, joy, and fear. I questioned my readiness: Is this really allowed? Will I be sufficient as a parent?
This emotional swirl is the essence of parenthood. It embodies the feeling of having your heart outside your body, residing in another individual. It’s a love so profound that it feels limitless, yet it also acknowledges their independence. Each day of their lives is intertwined with love and the bittersweet act of letting go.
While this isn’t her first minor accident, we’ll soon be on the hunt for a new car, one that can withstand teenage driving for a while longer. There are indeed some advantages to this process of letting go.
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In summary, the transition from parenting to letting go can be a blend of excitement and anxiety, as we navigate the complexities of our children stepping into adulthood. While we worry about their readiness, we also recognize the joy in their growth and independence.
Keyphrase: Delay College Until Age 30
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