In the realm of parenting, it’s often considered taboo to express a desire for personal space. As I prepare for a four-day getaway with a close friend, I must admit something: I won’t be missing my child, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
During this trip, I’ll enjoy the luxury of my own bed, long showers, and coffee that remains hot long enough to enjoy. I’ll engage in meaningful adult conversations interspersed with tranquil moments, leisurely bike rides, and peaceful walks in nature. My sleep will be uninterrupted; I’ll wake up naturally, free from the constraints of a schedule, and I can indulge in a second glass of wine without a worry.
While I may feel a twinge of longing for my 2-year-old around his bedtime—missing the warmth of his sleepy body and our cherished routine of laughter and lullabies—it’s a fleeting sentiment.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I craved the opportunity to share the responsibility of parenting. I didn’t wish to relinquish all control; rather, I longed for a partner in this journey. Thankfully, my husband, whom I affectionately refer to as the “culinary genius of fathers,” is an incredible co-parent.
The initial months with our son, Leo, were challenging. After a stroke at birth, he spent his first week in the NICU. I spent countless hours pumping milk and staying by his side, feeling helpless as he fought through those early struggles. The joy of bringing him home was immense, yet within just two days, I yearned for a bit of space. I took a rare three-hour break to recharge, albeit driven by physical necessity.
As time passed and Leo was diagnosed with life-threatening food allergies, our world became smaller. I often counted the moments until my husband returned home or bedtime arrived, eager for those precious hours of solitude.
Now, even though Leo is flourishing and our lives have stabilized, the need for breaks remains. I require moments to think, to breathe, and to detach from my responsibilities. It’s crucial for my mental health. I combat the notion that I’m failing at motherhood; I see many parents who struggle with the idea of stepping away from their children.
For me, being a mother cannot consume every aspect of my identity. I need balance. I crave connection with others, yet not in overwhelming crowds. I need both solitude and social interaction, ensuring Leo is a cherished part of my life without being my sole focus. He is my Venus, but he cannot be my Sun.
Honestly, taking time away from my son allows me to reconnect with my desire to return to him. Some may call this selfish, but I see it as a necessary step toward maintaining my sanity. When I return, I can be the present, engaged parent Leo needs.
As I prepare to embrace this time away, I anticipate the joy of returning refreshed, ready to be the grounded mother my son deserves. This balance is vital for both of us.
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Ultimately, the need for personal space in parenting is not just acceptable; it is necessary for nurturing a healthy family dynamic.
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