Published on October 19, 2015
At around 33 weeks into my pregnancy, I experienced a scare with premature labor. Thankfully, everything stabilized, yet my obstetrician informed me that if my baby boy attempted an early arrival again—post 35 weeks—I could proceed with delivery, given his size and health. However, she advised me to maintain an “open mind” during labor due to potential complications arising from his large head and my smaller pelvis, hinting at the possibility of a C-section.
What? For eight months, I had focused on preparing for a vaginal delivery, crafting my birth plan, and worrying about every minor detail. The idea of needing a C-section hadn’t crossed my mind.
To alleviate my concerns, I reached out to my friend Sarah, who had delivered both of her children via C-section, each weighing over nine pounds. She described her experience as “super fast” with her husband by her side. Sarah reassured me that she felt no pain, just pressure, and within 20 minutes, she was holding her newborn. It honestly didn’t sound that terrible. Sure, the thought of surgery was daunting, but I would meet my baby in a fraction of the time it takes to order a pizza!
Then, with a serious expression, she added, “But I hope you don’t have to go through that.” When I probed further, she explained that she felt a sense of loss for not experiencing the traditional delivery. She felt as though she had missed out on an essential part of giving birth.
I reminded her that she had two beautiful, healthy children (now in fourth and sixth grades), but she still felt robbed of the experience of pushing them into the world.
I hadn’t realized that C-section guilt existed until I began researching the topic online. I stumbled upon numerous discussions and posts that criticized C-sections, labeling them as the “easy way out.” Some individuals even hold the belief that a C-section does not constitute real childbirth. As I dove deeper, I found many women, like Sarah, grappling with guilt for not delivering vaginally. Searching “C-section not giving birth” reveals a multitude of forums discussing this sentiment.
After enduring 36 hours of labor—12 hours of premature contractions followed by 24 hours of active labor—I can confidently say I harbor no guilt regarding my eventual C-section. I pushed for several hours, but when my baby’s heart rate began to drop with each push, the urgency shifted. The doctor presented me with a choice: continue pushing, risking an emergency surgery, or opt for a C-section immediately.
The moment I learned my baby was in distress, my desire for a “normal” delivery vanished. My priority shifted entirely: get him out safely, no matter how.
Strapped to the operating table, I felt a mix of apprehension and determination. After what felt like an eternity of tugging and pulling, I heard that unmistakable cry. My son was finally here. Though I couldn’t hold him immediately due to being restrained, my husband brought him close, allowing me to greet him cheek to cheek.
In a whirlwind, the drape was lowered, and I was transferred to a recovery bed. A nurse informed me that I could finally hold my baby. Just like that, it felt surreal to transition from a surgical environment to bonding with my newborn.
Processing the experience took time; the labor, the immediate shift to surgery, and finally holding my baby was a lot to unpack. Every moment was challenging, and not one second was free of pain. Yet, my son was here—safe and healthy—and that was all I cared about. I don’t feel guilty about my C-section at all.
For those exploring pregnancy options, you may want to read about home insemination methods, such as those offered by Make a Mom. They provide helpful resources for individuals looking into self insemination and other fertility options. Additionally, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is another authority on this topic. For more information on various fertility treatments, consider checking out WebMD for excellent resources.