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The Transformation of a Marriage
by Lisa Thompson
November 6, 2015
As my partner and I approach our 11th wedding anniversary, the word “celebrate” feels a bit optimistic. In truth, we’re just hoping to remember the date and survive it without any unexpected chaos that might disrupt our annual high-five and affectionate embrace. Together, we’ll gaze into each other’s eyes and proclaim in unison, “Hell yeah! We did it again. We’re fantastic!” Typically, this culminates in a warm kiss, a testament to our affection for one another. It’s a timeless love story.
Honestly, we have little to complain about. We’re blessed with three wonderfully healthy children, a home, enough income to support our comfortable lifestyle, a minivan that has seen better days, and a mutual respect and love that embraces each other’s less-than-perfect traits. Our patience for one another has flourished in ways we never imagined before marriage, and we owe much of that to our kids, who shift our focus from ourselves to their needs. The days of trivial arguments and one-upping each other are behind us; we now have standards to uphold and examples to set.
When I reflect on how our marriage has evolved, the phrase “tater tot casserole” springs to mind. Now, I’m no expert on marriage, but the life lessons I’ve gleaned from this comforting dish can resonate with any couple navigating the complexities of a long-term relationship. Here’s how the evolution of our marriage parallels the making of tater tot casserole:
Mature Together.
There was a time when the process of crafting this creamy casserole nearly tested the limits of our love. I was convinced my method was superior, while he steadfastly believed his approach was correct. This disagreement led to a wooden spoon being hurled (maybe), and silence reigned for days. Not our proudest moment, but let’s be real—this kind of conflict is relatable. However, violence is not the answer, especially with kids around.
Blend it Up.
Marriage thrives when both partners strive to become a cohesive unit. Attempting to layer ingredients without blending is not just tedious; it’s also unfair and downright tasteless.
Agree to Disagree.
If you can’t come to a consensus, simply accept it and never enjoy the deliciousness of tater tot casserole together again.
Life’s a Game—Enjoy It.
Cook two separate pans side by side, but keep each other company. Put on some music, pour a glass of wine, and share the cooking space. The chemistry that develops while preparing dinner can lead to some delightful moments later on, once you start talking again.
Extend a Peace Offering.
Don’t be stubborn; give your partner’s ideas a chance. After all, you fell in love for a reason. Add some celery for a surprise twist.
Let it Out.
My mother always told me that sometimes crying is necessary. Just make sure the kids don’t see it; we wouldn’t want to set a poor example. Be a role model while remembering your roots.
Gather the Family.
Invite everyone to the table. It’s amazing how quickly you can forget what you were arguing about when you’re united in the shared experience of a family meal. I’ve been down that road more times than I can count. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. As we sit down, the kids might ask:
- “What’s for dinner, Mom?”
- “Tater tot casserole.”
- “It looks gross. Why is it all mixed together? I’m not eating that!”
Be a Good Sport.
Look across the table, raise your glass, and give your partner a cheeky “you win, my dear” nod. And there you have it—married life with kids in a nutshell.
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In summary, the evolution of a marriage is a journey filled with growth, compromise, and the occasional culinary mishap, all leading to deeper connections and a resilient partnership.
Keyphrase: Marriage Evolution
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