Parenting can be a real challenge. We’re tasked with nurturing happy, healthy, moral, intelligent, and successful children without always having mastered these qualities ourselves. Like many parents, I started this journey feeling quite unprepared. Fortunately, I’ve discovered a game-changing approach that simplifies my role and enhances my personal growth.
The secret lies in one straightforward question that not only steers my parenting decisions but also helps me evolve as a person. It activates my moral compass and taps into the lessons I’ve accumulated over the years. The question I ask myself regularly is: What advice would I give my children?
My kids unintentionally prompt me to answer this question countless times throughout the day. For instance, when my little girl repeatedly sticks her finger up her nose, I remind her, “No picking your nose,” because it’s not just socially unacceptable; it spreads germs too. When my son tries to poke his sister after I’ve asked him to stop, I send him to his room because he needs to understand the importance of listening and regulating his impulses.
I strive to instill values of kindness, boundary-setting, and hard work in my children, weaving these lessons into their daily experiences. But what happens when I face my own life challenges?
I’ve come to realize that my children are observing my actions more than listening to my words. If I want them to thrive, I must lead by example. I visualize myself as their future adult selves and consider what I would advise them to do in various situations.
For example, if I receive a frustrating work email on a Friday, would I suggest that my daughter dwell on it during family game night? Or would I encourage her to take a refreshing jog, set the email aside, and revisit it with a clear mind on Monday? Certainly, I’d advise the latter, but not long ago, I might have chosen the former.
Similarly, if my adult son pursued a passion that didn’t yield immediate recognition, would I tell him to give up? Would I suggest that if he didn’t achieve success right away, it was time to quit? Clearly, I would encourage him to persevere and learn from setbacks, but it’s only recently that I’ve begun to apply this mindset to my own goals, thanks to that pivotal question: What would I tell my kids to do?
Reflecting on my life, I have many choices that fill me with pride, yet there are also plenty of decisions I wouldn’t want my kids to emulate. Now, when I’m faced with choices that require me to be positive or negative, mature or childish, kind or careless, I pause and think, What would I tell my kids to do? More often than not, this process leads me to the right answer. My track record isn’t flawless, but perfection isn’t the goal—modeling resilience is.
While my children may not always heed my words, I hope they are watching my actions closely.
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In summary, one simple question has not only improved my parenting but also enriched my life. By asking myself what advice I would give my children, I find clarity and direction in my decisions, ultimately leading to a more positive example for them to follow.
Keyphrase: parenting guidance through self-reflection
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