Navigating the doorway from inside to outside (and vice versa) can feel like a battlefield for my family. We’re usually fine once we’re outside or once we’re settled indoors, but that transition is when I tend to lose my cool. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s when my neighbors can hear me the most. Here are 13 reasons why they refer to me as “that angry mom.”
- “Where are your shoes? Put them on! Yes, you can do it by yourself. No, you’re not a ‘lil baby.’ Hurry up, we’re running late! Ugh, that was not even close to a good effort. PUT ON YOUR SHOES!”
- “Did you really need to wait until now to tell me you have to pee? Well, now you will just have to hold it!”
- “Where is the baby? Did you leave him somewhere? Are you all playing hide-and-seek with me? WHERE IS HE? Oh, there he is. WHAT ARE YOU EATING?”
- “Did you brush your teeth? No? Well, they’re just going to rot away, I guess.”
- “You’re just now telling me about the permission slip? Today’s the field trip! Where is it? You’ll have to dig through the trash for it then.”
- “No, you cannot run outside without your shoes! It’s freezing! I said NO. ARGH, I SAID NO!”
- “Is there a game called ‘Who Can Whine the Loudest’? Because let me tell you, it’s sounding a lot like a bad jazz performance. Can we stop that?”
- “Oh, is that a permission slip? For today? And you need $10 for lunch? Great, I have no cash. Well, okay then. No, I’m still calm.”
- “Wait, today is picture day too? And when did I bathe you last? THIS IS JUST GREAT.”
- “Alright, let me just set the groceries down to unlock the door. Can you please keep your brother from pulling everything out of the bags? That’s glass! No, put that down! I said PUT IT DOWN!”
- “I know, I’m hungry too! Just give me a few minutes to prepare dinner. Oh, you found a candy bar in my purse? I was saving that for…”
- “Sweetie, you’re looking a little green. Let’s get you to the bathroom. Oh dear. No, don’t play in your brother’s vomit! Honey, step away for a moment. I’m trying to clean… I SAID STEP AWAY!”
- “Let’s see who can be quiet the longest—YOU JUST LOST!”
The truth is, once we’re safely inside with shoes off and groceries put away, things are smooth sailing. Or once we’re outside and buckled in, it’s lovely. It’s just that chaotic transition zone where all the neighbors can judge my parenting. But hey, some of them look a little frazzled too—maybe one of them will offer me a Quaalude or at least a candy bar. I could really use one!
For those considering their own parenting paths, you might find helpful insights in this article about home insemination. Additionally, check out this cryobaby home insemination kit for expert advice on this topic. For more resources on pregnancy, visit this NICHHD page.
In summary, parenting can be a wild ride filled with unexpected chaos, especially during those crucial transitions. But, ultimately, it’s all worth it when the dust settles.
Keyphrase: Parenting Chaos
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