Category: Parenting
By Marissa Taylor
Updated: Oct. 28, 2023
How can you share your experiences as a parent of a gifted child without coming off as boastful? We’ve all encountered the classic humble brag, like someone lamenting about packing for an extravagant vacation. It quickly becomes tiresome. Yet, I feel the need to discuss the unique challenges I face with my son, which seem different from the usual parenting hurdles others are experiencing.
My youngest child, Lucas, is exceptionally gifted. And I don’t simply say that because I’m proud—though I am; he’s hilarious, kind, and a joy to be around. However, his intelligence is the only trait that can be quantitatively assessed.
I can already sense the eye rolls: “Oh great, another parent who thinks their kid is extraordinary.” Despite having written extensively on various topics, this piece poses a significant challenge for me. I didn’t need to conduct numerous evaluations to know Lucas was bright, but I pursued them to ensure others would take my concerns seriously rather than dismiss me as an overly enthusiastic mom.
I remember driving one day when Lucas, at around four or five years old, casually asked about square numbers. He was already explaining concepts like “5 times 5 equals 25 because it’s five groups of five.” Within a month, he went from struggling to read to fluently devouring books. He meticulously “read” for years but wouldn’t vocalize anything until he had it mastered.
There’s a distinction between being smart and being gifted; there’s an entirely different realm where Lucas resides. While it sounds impressive, I sometimes wish I could dial back some of his intellect.
After just a month of kindergarten, we had to withdraw him, despite enjoying many aspects of the program. Why? He began regressing, counting on his fingers. He wanted to fit in with his peers, which raised significant concerns for me.
For the remainder of kindergarten, I chose to homeschool him, allowing him to take the lead in his learning. We spent weeks exploring plants, covering content that I had only learned in high school biology. He even expressed interest in creating an episode inspired by Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Next, we delved into the periodic table—not every single element, but we got through most of it. Concepts like atomic structure and quantum mechanics fascinated my five-year-old. I scoured bookstores, watched countless YouTube videos, and did my best to keep up with his curiosity.
I enjoy watching the Olympics, primarily for the backstories of the athletes rather than the events themselves. Those parents who relocate to secure the best coaching for their kids are admirable, but I never envisioned myself as one of them.
Yet now, we contemplate making significant sacrifices, potentially uprooting our lives, because it’s evident that our current environment may not suffice for Lucas’s needs.
Conversations with other parents during school pick-up can feel awkward. When asked about how their child is doing with Ms. Johnson, I hesitate because Lucas isn’t even in that class—he’s skipped a grade.
“You must spend so much time working with him at home,” they say. In reality, I often try to rein him in since skipping multiple grades isn’t feasible.
“How did he become so smart?” I’m often asked. The answer is a blend of nature and nurture—genetics and a healthy upbringing.
I’m open to discussing Lucas; after all, he’s my child, and I could talk about him endlessly. However, there’s no concise way to explain our situation that doesn’t feel disingenuous.
When I share my uncertainties, other moms often respond with, “You’re so lucky.” This isn’t helpful; we all have our unique struggles. Comparing challenges doesn’t assist anyone. The difficulties faced by children with autism, ADD, or dyslexia are generally met with empathy, whereas giftedness is often misunderstood. It’s a brain difference, just like any other condition. Finding suitable reading material for a child who reads above the level of many community college students is no small feat.
As a mom raising a uniquely gifted boy, I ask for understanding. Please don’t judge my concerns as less valid simply because they differ from yours. These challenges keep me awake at night. Ensuring my son receives a suitable education is as demanding as it is for any child facing their own obstacles.
What lies ahead in middle school for a child who already surpasses my intellect? I try to avoid thinking about it too much. Currently, his friends are enamored with his youthful charm and impressive vocabulary. I can only hope that their admiration continues as he learns to navigate relationships with peers who don’t yet grasp his fascination with topics like the Nobel Prize in Physics.
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In summary, raising a gifted child comes with its own set of challenges that can feel isolating. While sharing these experiences can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, it’s essential to recognize that every parenting journey is unique. Gifted children, like any others, require understanding, support, and appropriate educational opportunities to thrive.
Keyphrase: Raising a gifted child
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