Recently, a dilemma was shared with the advice column that highlights the complexities of relying on family for childcare. While the question centered on dietary choices, it quickly became clear that the situation extends far beyond just food preferences. The core issues are: 1) Can I impose certain expectations on my free childcare provider? and 2) How should I approach making those requests? The straightforward answers are: “no” and “you probably shouldn’t.”
The Inquiry
The inquiry went something like this:
“After returning to work, my mother-in-law generously volunteered to take care of my elementary-age children since her stepkids attend the nearby middle school. This arrangement could save us a fortune in daycare costs. However, she insists on feeding my kids whatever she wants, disregarding our vegan and healthy eating guidelines. She told me that as long as it’s not harmful, she won’t make an effort to provide ‘special’ snacks. My husband just shrugs and says it’s always been his mother’s style. I’m at my wit’s end. What should I do?”
When you hire someone to care for your children, you have the authority to set the rules. You can say things like, “He can’t have this” or “She shouldn’t play with that.” However, when you depend on a family member, especially a mother or mother-in-law, you may find yourself feeling frustrated and unheard.
I get it; I truly do. My own mother took care of my kids for a couple of years, and while I appreciated the financial help, it often led to my own frustration. She frequently ignored simple instructions and never told my daughter “no.” It was a constant source of annoyance, but I was in no position to pay for daycare, and I believed my older son benefitted from the arrangement. So, I learned to cope—often with a glass of wine at the end of a long week.
Finding Solutions
In the case of the mother-in-law scenario, the solution could be as simple as preparing vegan snacks and sending them along with the kids. There’s nothing wrong with feeling irked about a situation that isn’t aligning with your expectations. However, it’s crucial to step back, recognize your good fortune, vent to friends, keep your cool around family, and be grateful for the assistance you’re receiving.
If that doesn’t suit you, then there’s always the option to pay for childcare and maintain control over the environment. Remember, you can’t have your vegan cake and eat it too.
Further Reading
For more insights on family and childcare dynamics, check out our article on fertility supplements for those considering home insemination. If you’re exploring options in that realm, you might find our post on the Impregnator at Home Insemination Kit particularly helpful. You can also find an excellent resource for understanding various treatments related to pregnancy at WebMD.
Conclusion
In summary, while relying on family for childcare can save money and provide support, it’s vital to manage expectations and recognize the limits of that assistance. Finding creative solutions, like providing your own snacks, can help navigate any frustrations.
Keyphrase: Free family childcare
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