Before becoming a parent, I prided myself on being organized and in control. I couldn’t fathom how anyone could juggle life’s demands without a plan. However, after having kids, I find myself in a constant state of chaos. I despise that I’ve turned into the harried parent I once criticized, but it seems to come with the territory of raising two energetic boys. With all the demands of motherhood, many of my old habits have fallen by the wayside. Here are ten things I wish I could change:
- I often forget to reply to messages. If I don’t respond to a text right away, the chances of me replying later drop significantly. I can’t stand the little red notification bubble on my phone, so I read messages as they come in but often forget to respond afterward. While I genuinely want to keep the conversation going, it rarely happens. My friends, all busy moms themselves, understand this struggle, so we excuse each other’s lapses.
- I rely on multiple alarms for daily tasks. You might wonder how anyone could forget to pick up their child from school. Yet, I have alarms set for everything—to remind me when to get the little one ready to collect his big brother, when to buy supplies for school events, or even when to send a text (refer to No. 1).
- My smartphone is my memory. This goes hand in hand with my reliance on alarms. I’ve got so much on my mind that if something is noted down elsewhere, I tend to forget about it. I struggle to remember birthdays, phone numbers, or even simple facts, as I can just look them up. Without my list app, I can’t even recall a five-item grocery list.
- If it’s not on my calendar, it’s as good as nonexistent. My husband often mentions meetings, but if it doesn’t make it to my calendar, I simply won’t remember. This leads to frustration when he’s not home as I expected, despite his prior warnings. Events I want to attend won’t stick in my memory unless they’re scheduled with alerts.
- I sometimes have to cancel due to overbooking. I dislike bailing on people, but I’ve had moments where I’ve forgotten previous commitments and overbooked myself. Although I could blame my calendar, the truth is I just didn’t check it before saying yes to new plans.
- We’re frequently late and rarely early. I used to believe punctuality was crucial, but now, getting places on time feels like a luxury. I hate being late, yet with children, it seems one of them always needs a last-minute potty break just as we’re heading out the door.
- I can never catch up. My to-do list is endless. The house is perpetually messy, work is never done, and the kids constantly need feeding. The only time I can unwind is when I know I’m not neglecting anything else, which often leaves me feeling guilty instead of relaxed.
- I don’t reach out to loved ones as much anymore. I used to check in with friends and family regularly, but now, I have to set reminders just to say hello. I miss those connections and wish I could be more present.
- Thoughtful gifts have become a rarity. I no longer have the time or mental space to plan special gifts or write personalized notes. Most gifts end up being last-minute and lacking the thoughtfulness I once valued.
- Wrapping presents is almost a lost art. It’s become a rarity for me to wrap gifts—often they just get tossed into a gift bag, if that. Family members might receive their gifts in the original store bag, which is far from ideal.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about becoming the disorganized parent I once swore I’d never be. I could reach out to some friends right now, but like me, they might also forget to reply (see No. 1).
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Summary
Motherhood can shift priorities and disrupt habits, leading to a chaotic lifestyle that many parents can relate to. From forgetting to respond to messages to the struggle of being late, these challenges often leave us feeling disorganized and overwhelmed. However, understanding these patterns can help us navigate the complexities of parenting while seeking support and resources along the way.
Keyphrase: parenting struggles
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