The other day, I slipped into a maternity T-shirt and thought, “It’s fine, you’re still postpartum.” Then it struck me—wait a second, I’m actually two years post-postpartum. I stopped breastfeeding my second child a year ago. By now, life should have returned to some semblance of normalcy. I’m not just postpartum; I’m in the post-postpartum phase.
From what I see on social media, many moms are grappling with this post-postpartum reality. “Things Really Should Have Gone Back to Normal By Now” could easily be our anthem, a soulful ballad reminiscent of something Joni Mitchell might sing.
So, fellow post-postpartum moms: do you find yourself waking up at the crack of dawn with your heart racing, instantly bombarded by your to-do list? Do you think, as soon as you open your eyes, “I should have made those lunches last night”? Do you wrestle with buckling your toddler into the car seat while juggling your work bag and trying to remember if you even had breakfast?
These are the telltale signs of a post-postpartum mother. What really gets me down during this phase, both for myself and my fellow moms, is the nagging self-doubt. When you end up rushing to daycare, have to swing by the store for a toothbrush because you forgot to brush your own teeth, or dinner consists of a can of soup and toast, you can’t help but wonder, “Shouldn’t I have figured this out by now?”
The truth is, no, you shouldn’t have. The post-postpartum phase can be incredibly challenging. Many of us haven’t managed to shed those last stubborn pounds or streamline our morning routines into anything resembling efficiency, let alone whip up a homemade meal every night.
Starting when your youngest is about six months old, the post-postpartum period brings unique difficulties similar to those faced during pregnancy and the newborn stages. However, these struggles often go unacknowledged. One of the most grueling aspects has to be the relentless fatigue that comes from caring for little ones who may not be sleeping through the night. You can’t really complain about it anymore, because who understands why a 2- or 3-year-old is still waking up? But the reality is—you’re bone tired. Throw in another child, and your exhaustion reaches a level that only years of sleep deprivation can produce.
And even as you move beyond that phase, new challenges arise. My friend Emily’s mother-in-law has been dropping hints about wanting to hand over Thanksgiving hosting duties this year. Emily is politely declining, saying, “I just can’t manage it. I have a 2½-year-old and a 4-year-old, and no time to breathe. I can’t plan. I can’t cook. I can’t even think about cleanup. And I feel bad saying no. Shouldn’t I be ready for this by now?”
The answer is no. She’s post-postpartum, and it’s a tough time. We’re well within our rights to say no to hosting large gatherings, to opt for low-maintenance haircuts, and to arrive at work a few minutes late every day.
During pregnancy and those early newborn days, people tend to give you a break. You can skip events, lament about sleepless nights, and either lighten your workload or take time off. But there comes a point when others start to think, “She should be managing by now,” no matter how unrealistic that may be. Sometimes, we simply are not ready.
When does the post-postpartum stage end? Honestly, I’m not sure—I’m not there yet. Maybe it wraps up when all of your kids are in school? But from what I hear from friends with older children, that’s a bit of a myth. It’s entirely possible that this phase runs right into the empty nest stage.
So take a deep breath and give yourself some grace. After all, you’re navigating a delicate time. Someday, we won’t be post-postpartum anymore. Someday, it will just be us getting ourselves out the door in the morning. I’m not entirely looking forward to that either, to be honest. I cherish my little ones, even if they find it hilarious to trip me while I’m trying to get to work. I love this post-postpartum period, and I hope it lasts a while longer.
For more insights on fertility and the journey of parenthood, check out our other posts on making your parenting experience smoother, like Couples’ Fertility Journey for Intracervical Insemination. Also, for those looking into at-home insemination, Babymaker At-Home Insemination Kit is a fantastic resource. And for a wealth of information on pregnancy, visit Mayo Clinic’s IVF Information.
Summary
The post-postpartum phase can be a challenging time for mothers as they navigate new responsibilities and the lingering effects of motherhood. It’s essential to acknowledge that it’s okay not to have everything sorted out. This period is filled with unique challenges, including fatigue and self-doubt, but it’s crucial to be kind to ourselves and recognize that we are doing our best.
Keyphrase: post-postpartum phase
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