We all have that one elderly family member who asks the most awkward questions. We roll our eyes, laugh it off, and carry on. Someone inevitably says, “Oh, Uncle Joe, you really can’t ask things like that.” Another chimes in, “Yeah, Uncle Joe, it’s not the 1950s anymore!” Then we pass around some more wine, and the moment fades until the next family gathering.
But now, it’s not just Uncle Joe making faux pas. These days, it seems that everything is off-limits.
Numerous articles highlight that certain subjects are simply nobody else’s business, even though they’ve been the center of conversation throughout human history. Currently, here are some topics that are considered taboo:
- Asking a single person when they’ll find a partner
- Inquiring when a couple will “make it official”
- Questioning long-term couples about having children
- Probing new parents about having more kids
- Asking parents of multiple children if they’ll stop expanding their family
- Speculating on what last name a baby will have
- Questioning whether a child will participate in important religious ceremonies
- Suggesting sports like football for boys or discouraging girls from playing
- Mentioning the advantages of breast milk
- Discussing baby formula brands
- Mispronouncing a child’s name
- Commenting on the struggles of being a stay-at-home or working parent
- Talking about your own kids at work—unless you’re a dad, in which case it’s seen as making you “relatable” and “well-rounded.”
So, maybe we should just avoid discussing relationships (including any upcoming milestones) or kids (like birthing, feeding, or entertaining them)?
What’s behind all this sensitivity? Here’s the short answer: You just don’t know. You don’t know who is grappling with a recent breakup. You don’t know who’s facing infertility challenges or making a conscious choice not to have children. You don’t know which parent is anxious about their child’s safety in a sport or who is upset by your mispronunciation of a name they painstakingly chose.
But avoiding these conversations can feel impossible. It might be your single colleague who just had a disastrous date and you’re itching for the details, or your best friend who’s finally stepping into motherhood, and you want to share everything from epidurals to diaper blowouts, but she’s overwhelmed and not ready to talk about that yet.
So, hold back. Wait for them to bring it up. Wait for them to seek your advice (which may never happen, and that’s okay). Wait for them to introduce you to their baby with the unique name (or, like my own child, a name that’s often mispronounced). Focus on meaningful conversations rather than an interrogation.
Or just switch to another topic entirely. Perhaps dive into politics—because that’s sure to be free of any controversy!
This article was originally published on Oct. 13, 2023.
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In summary, while it’s essential to engage in conversations about relationships and parenting, it’s just as crucial to be sensitive and aware of others’ feelings. Let’s keep the dialogue respectful and genuine. If someone wants to share their story, they will. Until then, let’s find other things to talk about.
Keyphrase: Navigating Sensitive Conversations
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