Hey there, college fellas. I’m well aware you thought your whispers were hidden from me. I understand the college scene all too well, and I get that you were trying to show off in front of your friends. But what you didn’t realize was how deeply your words could sting a complete stranger. When you said, “Look at her checking out workout clothes. I bet she doesn’t even know what a gym is!” I felt it cut right through me.
That moment was over three years and 50 pounds ago, yet I still flush with embarrassment whenever I think about it. When I turned around, you must have realized I was much older than you assumed. Perhaps you thought I was just a mom shopping for her daughter.
What you didn’t know is that I was shopping for myself. I had taken a leap of faith and returned to college in my late 30s to finally earn my bachelor’s degree. You also didn’t know that I sat in my car for 20 minutes each day, summoning the courage to step into the classroom alongside you folks. My marriage was falling apart, and I was lost trying to hold it together. My 3-year-old son was refusing to potty train, and I often had to dash to school to change him since his Catholic preschool wouldn’t do it. You didn’t see the stress eating that came from feeling utterly alone, and you had no clue that I was eyeing those sweatpants because my jeans were so tight they were causing a rash. I spent my last $20 on a bit of comfort.
Your judgment shattered my already fragile self-esteem even more. I retreated further into my shell, just when I was trying to rebuild my life. Your careless words kicked me while I was down during a particularly challenging time in my life.
But despite your thoughtless comments, I showed up at that school every day for four semesters until I graduated. I survived a divorce and even managed to get my son potty trained before winter break. At 37, I found myself on the Dean’s List and graduated with my degree at 38. And yes, I lost those 50 pounds and no longer fit into the sweatpants I had purchased that day.
I still wear those sweatpants around the house and on chilly nights, I find comfort in sleeping in them. They have big pockets and our school’s name emblazoned in pink. While you thought I couldn’t hear you, I now carry your words with me as a reminder of how far I’ve come. I often wonder how much quicker my journey might have been if you had just kept your thoughts to yourself.
So, before you utter words you think no one will hear, consider how you’d feel if someone said the same to you. Remember that the person you’re judging is more than just a fleeting image; they have their own struggles and stories. We mustn’t forget that we’re all human, navigating our own paths.
To you college boys in that bookstore: I hope your lives are easier than mine has been, but if you ever find yourselves in tough spots, I genuinely hope you meet people who lift you up. We owe each other that basic humanity. And if you’re curious about navigating parenthood, you might find helpful insights in our guide on at-home insemination kits, which can be found here.
Summary
This article reflects on a personal experience of facing judgment in a college setting. The author shares her journey of returning to school later in life while managing various personal challenges. Despite hurtful comments from younger peers, she persevered, ultimately achieving her goals and personal growth. The piece serves as a reminder to treat others with kindness and understanding, recognizing the unseen struggles they may face.
Keyphrase: college judgment and personal growth
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]