When I discovered I was expecting twin girls, tears of joy streamed down my face. We already had an incredible son who was nearly two, and the vision of raising twin daughters had filled my dreams for years. I often joked with my mom that I must have a twin out there, waiting to be found.
However, that blissful moment was quickly shadowed by an unsettling fear. Research indicates that daughters of women with eating disorders are significantly more likely to develop their own struggles—11 times more than their peers without such familial ties. Although I’ve largely overcome my own battle with anorexia, I couldn’t shake the worry that my body image and food issues might inadvertently color my daughters’ perceptions.
I refuse to let that happen.
So, to my girls, I’m making these commitments:
- I promise that when we stand before the mirror together, I’ll point out if you have a little something stuck in your teeth or if your skirt is tucked awkwardly into your underwear. Your weight will never be my focus, and you’ll never hear me comment on mine.
- I promise that during our family dinners, we will all eat together. I won’t fill my plate with just broccoli while your plates overflow with pasta. We’ll enjoy meals as a family because food should never be seen as an enemy.
- I promise to celebrate your bodies for their incredible abilities. Regardless of the shape they take, they will always be beautiful, healthy, and strong.
- I promise that when we discuss other women, it will be done respectfully. We will have open conversations about body image, but derogatory terms like “fat” or “disgusting” will be absent from our vocabulary. You will never be compared to one another or anyone else.
- I promise that when others speak about you—because they will—I will ensure that their words do not define you. Terms like “fat” or “ugly” are simply words, not truths. I’ll comfort you when you feel hurt and, while I’ll want to defend you fiercely, I’ll trust that you will know your worth.
- I promise that when life gets tough and my instinct is to retreat into unhealthy habits, I will resist. I will remember that my desire to control my weight pales in comparison to the fear of instilling those same issues in you.
- I promise that if you express a desire to diet, I’ll be here to talk it through. While inside I may panic, fearing that anorexia has found its way into your minds, I won’t show that. Instead, we will engage in open discussions and find solutions together. Dieting will not be an option.
- I promise that scales are not welcome in our home. Your self-worth will not be dictated by a number on a device.
- I promise that when I struggle with my own body image—when I feel upset that my stomach isn’t flat or my arms aren’t thin enough—I will keep those thoughts to myself. You won’t hear me voice those insecurities.
- I promise to share my past with you one day, explaining how my college years are a blur due to malnourishment. I’ll show you pictures from times when my health was fading and I was a shadow of myself. I’ll answer your questions about the dark moments I faced in a psychiatric rehabilitation facility for eating disorders, where my family feared for my life.
- I promise that the anorexia that has loomed over me for two decades will not transfer to you. It’s a battle that I will face alone. I’m committed to fighting it for my sake and yours.
Summary
In this heartfelt declaration, a mother pledges to break the cycle of eating disorders for her twin daughters. She vows to prioritize healthy conversations about body image, food, and self-worth while promising to shield them from the insecurities she has faced. Her commitment to fostering a positive environment emphasizes the importance of love and acceptance over societal pressures.
Keyphrase: Preventing Eating Disorders in Daughters
Tags: home insemination kit, home insemination syringe, self insemination