“Do you have both your diplomatic and regular passports?” I asked my son, Ethan, the night before his trip.
“Mom,” he replied with an exaggerated sigh, “I’ve done this before, remember?”
Tomorrow, he’ll be leaving Moscow, where we currently reside, to fly to Romania with his school’s baseball team—all without me tagging along.
He’s right; he has traveled extensively since he was in sixth grade, crossing borders without my supervision. From Dubai to Singapore, he’s been to numerous places, managing his own passports and bathroom breaks along the way. Still, it’s hard for me to accept that my once-small child can navigate these adventures without my presence.
My own first flight occurred when I was a 20-year-old college student headed for a semester abroad. Back then, my parents could walk me to the gate at Los Angeles International Airport, waving goodbye as I boarded. In contrast, Ethan, the oldest of four, has had a different upbringing. Being the child of a diplomat means he holds two passports—one for his international travels and another for when we return to the U.S. He was on his first flight at just 5 weeks old, and I’ve lost count of how many countries he’s visited. Is it 15? 20? Yet, I still feel uneasy about putting him on a plane solo. It shatters the illusion that I can keep him safe.
Kids in diplomatic families often possess a unique perspective. They can read body language and social cues in ways that most children cannot. This skill is crucial as they frequently change schools and befriend children from various cultures. My children can pinpoint Palestine on a map and explain why it may not appear on some maps. They navigate the Moscow subway independently and can even order falafel in Arabic while in Amman or Jerusalem. I am simultaneously amazed and proud of their capabilities.
However, there are simpler experiences they miss out on. They can’t mark their height on a bedroom wall year after year, nor can they claim a best friend they’ve known for a decade, as friendships often fade with every summer rotation. Weekend sleepovers with grandparents and cousins are out of reach. They can’t skateboard outside due to safety concerns, with no sidewalks at our post and risks of terrorism.
As I watch my four children grow up, I find myself contemplating whether this lifestyle is worth it. Sure, they’ve walked the Great Wall of China, dipped their toes in the Mediterranean, and experienced adventures like sledding on glaciers and riding camels. They’ve even shaken hands with dignitaries. But they’ve also sheltered in place during embassy alarms and cried as friends moved away. They’ve witnessed their dad, a special agent with the State Department’s Diplomatic Security Service, rush out to confront an intruder. They’ve faced challenges from peers who don’t welcome Americans, and they’ve watched anxiously as he boarded flights to war zones, fearing for his safety.
Will they cherish the experiences or lament the lack of a “normal” childhood? There’s no definitive answer. I can see that I’m nurturing intelligent, confident kids who will thrive in complex, global environments. They don’t hesitate to travel to Kuwait for baseball games. Yet, I also see that they’re grappling with fears that no child should have to face, like losing their father to violence.
As Ethan leaves for the airport, I’m reminded that while he’s growing up fast—packing his own suitcase and heading off without me—he still needs me. Just moments later, I received a text: “Mom, I forgot. Do I use my diplomatic passport or my regular one?”
Perhaps I’m not as superfluous as I feared after all. For more on preparing for family growth and fertility options, check out this comprehensive guide on in-home insemination kits and resources on IVF for those considering expanding their families.
In summary, parenting in the foreign service presents unique challenges and rewards, shaping children in ways that are both enriching and complex. While they gain worldly experiences, they also face the emotional turbulence that comes with such a transient lifestyle.
Keyphrase: Parenting in the Foreign Service
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