As the parent of a teenage daughter on the brink of graduating high school, the prospect of affording college feels like navigating a maze without a map. The stress of financial aid is akin to sinking in quicksand with each new form to fill out. Recently, while browsing yet another college funding website, I found myself envisioning the ideal scholarships that would benefit my daughter and countless other teens. Here are eight scholarship ideas I wish we could apply for:
1. Texting Proficiency
Applicants must demonstrate mastery of the latest texting acronyms and multitasking skills—texting while listening to music and working on assignments simultaneously. Bonus points for those who can condense their life stories into a tweet of 140 characters or less.
2. Useless Expertise
While some may debate this, having encyclopedic knowledge of anime won’t necessarily lead to career success. It would be nice to award scholarships for the countless hours spent immersed in this subject. Applicants could choose their niche and submit a 5,000-word essay on their chosen topic, where detailing the history of “Hetalia” might earn extra points for its world history connections.
3. Debating Skills
While there are scholarships for formal debate, this one centers on everyday argumentative prowess. My daughter can passionately argue trivial points—like whether “Star Wars” outshines “Star Trek”—until I relent just to end the discussion. A video submission showcasing the length, volume, and repetition of her arguments would earn her scholarship points.
4. Dramatic Flair
At sixteen, my daughter’s flair for drama is unparalleled. Need I say more?
5. Creative Organization
Venturing into my daughter’s room feels like entering a chaotic art installation. She insists she has a system, yet daily I hear her call out, “Mom, where’s my…?” Contestants would submit a photo of their room alongside a list of 25 hidden items. The winner would be the one whose “system” can be deciphered by the judges.
6. Emotional Fluctuations
Witnessing my daughter’s rapid emotional shifts—from joy to tears—in mere moments is a spectacle. A 15 to 30-minute recording capturing these transitions, especially over minor requests like showering, would serve as the basis for this scholarship. Points would be awarded based on the number of emotional shifts and the triviality of the triggers.
7. Manipulative Genius
This scholarship would highlight teens’ remarkable skills in persuasion. It’s astonishing how they can transition from sulking to sweetness when they want something. Applicants could submit a written or video account of a successful manipulation strategy, detailing how they convinced their parents to agree to their wishes.
8. Supreme Ruler
This award isn’t about beauty but rather the undeniable belief that the world revolves around them. Despite the wisdom of their parents, they often dismiss our suggestions. Applicants would need to prove their universe-centric worldview, with the prize being a free college education.
These scholarships would, of course, be limited to undergraduates; by the time students pursue graduate studies, they typically outgrow these teenage antics.
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In summary, these humorous scholarship ideas reflect the unique challenges and quirks of raising a teenager. They highlight the everyday skills and experiences that, while seemingly trivial, truly shape our young adults.
Keyphrase: “College scholarships for teens”
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