I’m expecting my second child—another boy. After this, I’m closing the chapter on expanding my family, and honestly, I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. Yet, it seems I’ll have to spend the foreseeable future assuring everyone that I’m perfectly content with this arrangement.
Gender disappointment is a genuine sentiment, often felt when a child’s gender doesn’t align with what parents envisioned. But I’m not experiencing that. Instead, I’m overflowing with gender joy!
I’m reveling in healthy baby joy. I’m celebrating surviving the first trimester feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck—without any tequila involved.
Most of my friends understand my excitement about having two boys, especially after my challenging journey to this point. However, that’s a story for another day. It’s the strangers who get me. Just 17 weeks along, and I’ve already had the same conversation a million times (Note: I look much further along, thanks to a mix of diastasis recti and, let’s be honest, some indulgent treats).
Here’s a typical exchange:
Stranger: Is this your first child?
Me: Nope, I have a son.
Stranger: Do you know the gender this time?
Me: It’s another boy!
Stranger [smile fading]: “Oh! Well, that’s fine, right? Boys are fun. You’ll get a girl next time!”
Nobody prepared me for this kind of response. It doesn’t offend me—I know it comes from a good place. But I’m really not looking forward to these conversations for the next four months. And I definitely dread explaining to people over the years that “No, we’re done, and we’re happy without a daughter.”
What about those moms whose houses are filled with adolescent boys? Are they still having to reassure others that it’s perfectly fine? One acquaintance, after I shared the news about my impending second son, remarked, “Congratulations! But, you know, boys don’t really take care of their parents as they age.” I waited for her to laugh, but she was dead serious.
You want the truth? I wanted two boys! I’ve mastered the art of diapering and aiming appropriately. I know little boys can be rambunctious, sensitive, charming, messy, and delightful. Plus, I’m excited that my son will have a brother.
While any combination of kids would have been wonderful, I’m genuinely happy with what I’m getting. Yet, it seems society expects me to desire a girl. (Truth be told, the world doesn’t revolve around me, but this seems to be a sticking point.)
Let’s clear this up right now, people in grocery stores, coffee shops, and waiting rooms:
Yes, I have two boys! No, we didn’t try for a girl! Yes, raising two boys is a lot of work, but it’s also amazing! No, we’re not having a third. Want to hear about my fertility journey? No, thanks to your grandma’s home remedy for conceiving a girl. And yes, we do have a plethora of toy trucks (but brother number two might just love princesses, so don’t box us in with stereotypes).
I have nieces who adore Frozen—so I can get my girl fix whenever I want! And while I appreciate your story about someone you know who had a girl after two boys, that’s not my reality. I don’t harbor any hatred towards girls, nor do I have an unhealthy relationship with my mother. In fact, I think she’s amazing. I’m just a proud boy mom, and that’s more than okay!
I hope I won’t spend my life feeling defensive about not having a daughter. Instead, I want to cherish my two healthy children, teaching them how to bake cookies, hold doors open, play sports, give great hugs, and treat everyone with kindness.
And when my friends have mother-daughter brunches, I’ll happily join in by mixing mimosas for the moms—or maybe just sleep in, because boys love to sleep in, right? Just tell me I’m right!
For those interested in exploring options for starting a family, check out this insightful resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Healthline. And if home insemination intrigues you, visit Make A Mom for more information. You might also want to read about the At Home Insemination Kit, which is a fantastic resource for prospective parents.
Summary
Embracing my identity as a proud mother of two boys, I share my journey of navigating societal expectations and assumptions about gender. While many may express sympathy for not having a daughter, I’m genuinely ecstatic about my growing family. I look forward to teaching my boys valuable lessons in kindness and respect, and I won’t let other people’s opinions overshadow my joy.
Keyphrase: “joyful boy mom”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]