What on earth has happened in the world of fashion? It feels like the textile industry has completely forgotten its 2,000-year mission: to create clothing that actually fits and flatters. Despite the overwhelming variety of styles, cuts, and washes available today, finding a pair of jeans that fits well seems nearly impossible. It’s a frustrating contradiction.
Step into any store, and you’re met with an endless selection of denim: from skinny to super skinny, to skinny with an attitude. Then there are straight-leg jeans, curvy cuts, and even boyfriend jeans—though distinguishing between sexy boyfriend jeans and the more laid-back versions can be a challenge. I find myself wishing for a pair of fashionable yet comfortable metrosexual boyfriend jeans. Is that too much to ask?
While my quest for the ideal stylish boyfriend jean continues, I’m certainly not short on options. The finishes alone are dizzying: distressed, faded, dark wash, and my personal favorite, worn crystal. And let’s not forget about rises. We have mid-rise, low-rise, ultra-low-rise, and every variation in between. But tell me, where are the high-rise options? Where is the classic, cover-your-belly-and-keep-your-flab-in-check rise?
And don’t get me started on skimmer jeans. The sheer number of varieties is overwhelming. After sifting through countless pairs, tossing aside those that don’t fit, I’m often left completely exasperated. If I finally find my size, it’s usually the wrong length—why does it seem like retailers think every American woman is 10 feet tall? I’ve even resorted to asking the overly cheerful sales associate perched on a ladder for help.
“Excuse me,” I said, sheepishly acknowledging the denim disaster I had created. “Do you have dark-wash, mid-rise skimmer jeans in size 8 ankle?”
The clerk, barely out of her teens, replied, “We have deconstructed dark-wash skimmer jeans in size 8 ankle, but they’re low-rise, or the super-skinny ones, but those are ultra-low-rise.”
I sighed. “Can you just tell me if you have any skinny jeans that are mid-rise in size 8 ankle?”
“Sorry, we don’t,” she said, returning to the wall of denim without a hint of empathy. It was clear that my denim dilemma was not weighing heavily on her conscience.
It’s a tough pill to swallow: I’m no longer a teenager, and finding jeans that fit seems like a battle I’m destined to lose.
Let’s clarify one thing: I’m not advocating for the high-waisted jeans of yesteryear, nor am I calling for the dreaded mom jeans of the past. What I envision is a new, improved jean—one that balances style and comfort for women who have experienced life and motherhood. A jean that allows us to maintain our dignity without forfeiting fashion. Because let’s face it, while we may have grown accustomed to the occasional unsightly butt crack, I firmly believe that crack is, and always will be, wack.
What baffles me is why such jeans don’t already exist. This isn’t a pipe dream; it’s entirely feasible. When I reflect on the good old days—when clothing actually fit without the constant need for adjustments—I find myself longing for a time when a little exposure was embarrassing, not the norm.
It’s time for change. We cannot live in a society that normalizes unwanted crack sightings. We once had jeans that fit well, and we can have them again. We must demand better rises because, while we have numerous options, they have yet to meet our needs.
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In summary, the search for the perfect pair of jeans is a modern-day quest. We deserve clothing that respects our bodies and dignity, allowing us to embrace both fashion and comfort.
Keyphrase: mom jeans
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