In Defense of Balance in Parenting

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Recently, I stumbled upon a quote from a well-known author on social media that stated, “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” Now, let me tell you, I am all about embracing those glorious messes! Anyone who knows me can attest to that.

Life is messy, and sometimes that chaos comes from our kids, sometimes we create it ourselves, and other times, we just find ourselves tangled in it. Occasionally, life throws unexpected challenges our way, knocking us off balance. While I’m not averse to the messiness of life, I do take issue with the lengthy commentary that often accompanies such sentiments, particularly when it suggests that we should abandon the pursuit of balance.

Balance, as I see it, is crucial. It’s about maintaining a steady and upright presence in our lives, whether we’re parents or not. Yes, there will be moments when we teeter off that balance beam—when life hurls something unexpected at us—but our goal should always be to find our way back up.

One mistake we often make is equating balance with perfection. It’s simply not possible to do it all, and that’s okay. The author I mentioned earlier spoke about her journey to balance, starting with simple needs: eating, praying, and loving. While her approach was not perfectly balanced, it led her to a place of happiness.

However, for true balance, we need to add a few more essential elements: exercise, work, family time, and moments of fun. The reality is, life rarely allows us to fulfill every desire on our list. Just like a seesaw, if we put too much on one side, it’ll tip over.

To find balance, we must make choices. If exercise is one side of the seesaw, then eating well must be on the other. Each aspect of our lives—time with kids, time with a partner, work, and sleep—competes for space. Yet, we also have friends, household chores, personal projects, and social commitments vying for our attention. The list can feel endless.

So, how do we navigate this? It’s about acknowledging our limits. When life throws unexpected challenges our way, we need to reassess what we can afford to set aside. For instance, that elaborate birthday cake you planned? Maybe it’s time to just order one. Or that bathroom renovation? Perhaps this year isn’t the right time to tackle it.

We all want to do it all, but the truth is, it’s not sustainable if we wish to remain sane and steady. There will be fleeting moments of effortless balance, but then life will inevitably throw us a curveball—a broken washing machine, a sudden family crisis, or even a forgotten school event.

When those moments arise, we need to adjust. If you’re faced with a surprise mess, perhaps that means laundry will have to wait, or you might need to shorten your workout. Importantly, don’t try to overload the other side of the seesaw to compensate. Instead, consider what can be taken off the heavier side or seek help.

Yes, help! Think of elite gymnasts; they don’t balance alone. They often have spotters, especially when attempting new or challenging routines. As women, we sometimes feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In reality, seeking support is a vital strategy for maintaining balance and getting back to where we want to be—upright and steady.

Your spotter might be a friend, a therapist, a coworker, or even all three. When you can identify daily priorities and are comfortable asking for assistance when needed, you’ll find that balance is not just a dream, but a reachable goal.

And balance? It’s essential.

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In summary, while life can be chaotic and messy, seeking balance is crucial for maintaining our sanity and stability. It requires acknowledging our limitations, making thoughtful choices, and sometimes leaning on others for support. Remember, balance is not about perfection; it’s about finding a way to navigate the beautiful mess of life.

Keyphrase: balance in parenting

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