Twelve years ago, when our eldest child was a toddler, we invited a childless couple over for dinner. As we relaxed in the living room, our adorable nearly-three-year-old approached me, propped her elbow on the arm of my chair, and casually dropped a verbal bombshell. Just three little words that caught me completely off guard: “Wanna nurse?”
I watched as our friends’ jaws dropped in shock, and I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “No, thanks,” I replied. “Maybe later.” Our little one was perfectly content with that and scampered away cheerfully. “Did she just say what I think she said?” our friend asked.
Yep, she certainly did.
All three of our children breastfed until shortly after they turned three. It was a bit unusual for our daughter to ask at that moment—we had mostly transitioned to nursing only at bedtime and first thing in the morning. But we were still in the weaning process, and what our friends witnessed was simply part of that journey. Thankfully, they shared in the laughter, though I understand that seeing a walking, talking toddler ask to nurse can be quite the eye-opener for those unfamiliar with it.
Given the myriad of opinions surrounding this topic, let me clarify ten misconceptions about why we chose to breastfeed beyond infancy:
- To create discomfort for others.
- To make a statement.
- I have an unhealthy obsession with breastfeeding.
- I seek attention.
- I want my children to rely on me.
- I think I’m a better mother than others.
- I can’t say no.
- I want to prevent my kids from growing up.
- I’m too lazy to prepare solid food.
- I’m in it for the accolades.
These are common assumptions made about mothers who breastfeed longer than societal norms dictate, but none of them apply to me. (Well, No. 8 might resonate, but it’s unrelated to breastfeeding.)
Here are ten genuine reasons we continued nursing through toddlerhood:
- Comfort: For our toddlers, nursing was their main source of comfort, just as it had been since birth. Much like some toddlers have pacifiers or blankets, nursing was a soothing balm for them. I believe it played a significant role in keeping tantrums at bay during those years of exploration and independence. While there are various ways to provide comfort, nursing worked wonderfully for us, and I cherished being that source of solace.
- Nutrition: Contrary to popular belief, breastmilk retains its nutritional benefits well beyond infancy. While toddlers do need a varied diet, breastmilk continues to offer essential proteins, fats, and vitamins. There’s no necessity to switch to cow’s milk at one year if both mother and child are happy with breastfeeding. It seems illogical to suggest that cow’s milk could be healthier than human breastmilk.
- Cost: Breastmilk is free! I saw no reason to shell out money for cow’s milk or other milk alternatives when I had a perfectly good source of nutrition readily available.
- Convenience: If my nursing toddler asked for milk, I didn’t even have to get off the couch. It was like carrying around a cooler of sippy cups everywhere. Incredibly handy!
- Research: Growing up with a mother who was a lactation consultant immersed me in the benefits of breastfeeding. I also read extensively when I had my first child. There’s a wealth of research supporting extended breastfeeding and no evidence suggesting it’s harmful. Anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler estimates that the natural weaning age for humans is between 2.5 and 7 years—check out her research for more fascinating insights.
- Respect: Our kids genuinely wanted to continue breastfeeding past their first year. As I started feeling less inclined to nurse, it didn’t seem fair to abruptly stop. Nursing was significant for them, so I respected their needs. We engaged in a gradual weaning process, which minimized trauma and stress.
- Calm: Toddlers can be little whirlwinds of energy. Nursing offered a peaceful retreat several times a day that I believe helped reduce tantrums. Sure, they had their moments, but overall, they were quite calm for their age.
- Body Image: This next point is a bit vain, but hey, it’s my article! While not every mother loses weight while breastfeeding, I did, and it felt great. Additionally, I enjoyed a little boost in my bust size, which was a nice perk!
- Experience: I was breastfed until I was 2 ½, and my husband until around age 4. We both turned out just fine—no strange obsessions or issues. I’ve encountered many kids who nursed into toddlerhood, and they haven’t turned into anything alarming either.
- Confidence: Despite the mixed reactions to extended breastfeeding, I was confident in my decision. I knew there was nothing odd about nursing a toddler, having seen many mothers do the same. The support from my community made it easier to embrace my choices.
If you met my children today, you wouldn’t even know they were nursed until age three. They don’t remember it and don’t think anything of it. Some kids do recall their nursing days, and that’s perfectly fine too. The discomfort surrounding “extended” breastfeeding is largely cultural, and the arguments against it often lack substance.
I completely understand why some mothers choose not to breastfeed that long, and I would never pressure anyone to do so. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least one year, while the World Health Organization suggests two years or longer if mutually desired. These are guidelines, not strict rules. Some women can’t breastfeed, and that’s okay. Others may have personal reasons for stopping earlier, and that’s also fine.
It’s perfectly acceptable to nurse a child who can request milk. It’s okay to breastfeed a toddler who eats solid food. Some may prefer a very slow weaning process, and if that works for you and your child, then it’s the right choice.
Motherhood is challenging enough without adding pressure or judgment regarding choices. I hope sharing my reasons for nursing longer than the norm helps others understand that decision better. If you have questions or want to chat more about this topic, feel free to reach out.
For those interested in the journey of parenthood, you can find more helpful insights in our other posts, like this one. Additionally, if you’re curious about the technical aspects of home insemination, this resource is a great authority on the subject, and you can also check out this excellent guide for more information about artificial insemination.
In summary, every family’s journey with breastfeeding is unique, and it’s essential to respect each mother’s choices—whether they align with societal norms or not.
Keyphrase: breastfeeding toddlers
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