Navigating a divorce can feel like walking through a minefield, especially when it comes to interactions with friends. It’s tough when you realize the person you thought you’d be with forever, and even raised children with, has become a source of pain. Your friend deserves kindness and support, not a barrage of unsolicited advice or judgment. Here’s how to approach conversations with a friend who is experiencing this difficult time.
What Not to Say vs. What to Say
Don’t Say: You really need to stop talking about him so much. You’re obsessing!
Do Say: What outrageous thing did he do this week? Seriously? He actually did that? What a jerk!
Don’t Say: Here’s a plant for your new place!
Do Say: I thought about bringing you a plant, but then I realized it would just be one more thing to care for, so I brought this giant bottle of wine instead.
Don’t Say: Maybe now isn’t the ideal time to splurge on that fancy mattress?
Do Say: Let’s go shopping for some new sheets! 800 thread count, baby! My treat!
Don’t Say: I’m kind of jealous you get a break from the kids three nights a week.
Do Say: Oh sweetheart, that’s tough. Can I buy you a drink? He’s such a jerk.
Don’t Say: Exercise will really help you feel better.
Do Say: You’ve been looking a bit too thin lately, so I baked you some cookies.
Don’t Say: Just because we hang out with him occasionally doesn’t mean we’re on his side.
Do Say: We only see him to get the scoop for you. Trust me, we’re not fans—he’s too much of a jerk!
Don’t Say: Why does it bother you that he’s already dating someone else?
Do Say: Let’s update your Tinder profile with some spicy new pictures!
Don’t Say: Want to go get manicures?
Do Say: How about we go egg his new girlfriend’s house instead?
Don’t Say: Shouldn’t you take a break from dating and focus on the kids?
Do Say: I saw some condoms on sale at the drugstore yesterday, so I picked up a few boxes for you!
Don’t Say: Now might not be the best time to explore amateur adult films.
Do Say: Okay, fair enough.
Remember, your friend in the midst of divorce needs unwavering support, understanding, and perhaps a stiff drink or two. And even if it seems otherwise, her ex will always be a jerk.
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Summary
Supporting a friend through divorce requires sensitivity and care. Remember to listen without judgment, offer comfort, and maintain loyalty. Your friend needs to feel validated and understood during this challenging time.
Keyphrase: divorce support for friends
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