One of the first lessons I absorbed as a child was the importance of saying “please” and “thank you.” As a dutiful student in Catholic school, I made it a point to follow this guideline religiously. Nowadays, my habit of expressing gratitude has become second nature; I often end emails with a casual “thanks!”—complete with an exclamation mark—even when it’s unnecessary.
Since my little one joined the family seven months ago, my appreciation for my husband’s parenting efforts has skyrocketed. I find myself thanking him for everything from diaper changes to daycare pickups and late-night feedings. My intention is clear: I want him to know I appreciate that he doesn’t expect me to shoulder all the responsibilities alone.
While my husband acknowledges my contributions, his expressions of gratitude aren’t as frequent. This discrepancy might stem from an underlying assumption that I’m simply doing what mothers are supposed to do. Our traditional roles seem to linger, after all: he’s the hunter, and I’m the gatherer.
My husband is what many would label a “hands-on” dad, a term that irks me. This phrase is often showered upon fathers who engage in everyday tasks that would typically go unnoticed if performed by mothers.
Picture this: We’re at our favorite Italian restaurant, and a baby starts crying. Dad whips out a bottle from the diaper bag and feeds the infant while Mom enjoys her pasta. Suddenly, an onlooker chimes in, “Wow, you’re so lucky to have such a hands-on dad!” Meanwhile, if Mom were the one feeding the baby, no one would think twice about it—that’s just what mothers do.
It’s high time we elevate our expectations of fathers. Dad should not merely wait for his moment to shine during t-ball games. Instead, he should actively participate in parenting alongside Mom, taking on responsibilities without expecting accolades.
Some may argue that an equal partnership is tough to achieve, especially when biological factors come into play, such as breastfeeding. While that’s valid, in my case, I faced challenges that made me pump and supplement with formula, allowing my husband to take an active role in feeding our son from the start, even during his NICU stay.
Beyond feeding, there are countless other areas where dads can contribute. Some moms might worry that their partners won’t execute tasks as well as they would. That may be true, but how can dads improve without being given the opportunity to try?
The increasing number of stay-at-home dads is promising; it shows that traditional roles are shifting. Both men and women can thrive at home. The next crucial step is supporting parents in returning to the workforce and ensuring that paid parental leave is accessible to all, regardless of gender.
Ultimately, I hope that when my son becomes a father, no one will feel the need to thank him simply for caring for his child. Especially not me.
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In summary, it’s essential to challenge the outdated norms surrounding parenting roles. Both moms and dads should work together as equals, sharing responsibilities without the need for constant praise. As we move forward, let’s aim for a future where parental involvement is the expectation, not an exception.
Keyphrase: Thanking Dads for Parenting
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