As a parent navigating the wild world of potty training, I recently found myself purchasing a book titled “Percy the Poop.” Yes, you read that right—a children’s story featuring a talking turd. The idea is that by anthropomorphizing poop, my daughter might grasp its rightful place: in the potty.
It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since my daughter embarked on her potty-training journey. A whole year of ups and downs, and we still haven’t reached the finish line.
Potty training caught us off guard. One fateful weekend, my then 2-year-old declared she wanted to use the potty. Simple enough, right? I can count on one hand the number of times she’s had accidents with pee since then.
“How wonderful!” my partner Alex and I thought. “This is a breeze! What’s all the fuss about?” But it turns out, the real challenge lies in the realm of poop.
Every child’s potty training saga is unique, but for us, the struggle is entirely centered around bowel movements. Who would have thought that such a common biological function could cause so much chaos?
Before you start offering advice, let me assure you: I’ve tried it all. Here’s a sampling of my desperate attempts to encourage my daughter to poop in the potty:
- Small rewards and big prizes
- A toddler potty chair
- Relocating the potty to various rooms in the house
- A Disney-themed potty seat insert
- A “potty money” jar where each successful poop earns a coin (currently, we have a staggering one penny)
- A sticker chart filled with large Disney princess stickers
- Allowing her to watch videos and even a full movie
- Special treats or candy for success
- Reading poop-themed books (hello, Percy)
- Demonstrating by transferring poop from her underwear to the potty
- Making her assist in cleaning up after herself
- Letting her feel the discomfort of dirty underwear
- Offering pull-ups or diapers for pooping
- Sitting with her, giving her privacy, or leaving her on the toilet for ages
- Picking out fun new underwear at the store
- Going bare-bottomed for days (sorry to any guests)
- Letting her “decorate” the poop with glitter or color tablets
I’ve cheered her on daily, even resorting to silly songs about poop (who knew “Let It Go” could have so many interpretations?). I’ve tried bribery, shed tears of frustration, and yelled in exasperation. I’ve alternated between stern adult talk and playful toddler language, trying to explain why it’s so important for poop to swim in the potty.
Despite my best efforts, nothing seems to work. The crux of the issue? My daughter is both stubborn and far too clever. She knows exactly what is expected of her but simply refuses to comply. The typical fears associated with potty training don’t seem to apply to her.
Without a predictable pattern for her bowel movements, I’ve developed an almost obsessive awareness of her signs. I find myself closely monitoring her every move, searching for those subtle cues that signal an impending accident. It’s exhausting and anxiety-inducing.
“Just relax,” some well-meaning people advise. “She’ll get it eventually. Have you ever seen a high schooler still in diapers?” I can’t help but feel those who say this may not have faced the same challenges. I understand she will eventually figure it out, but that doesn’t alleviate the current frustrations or messes.
As I wash out dirty underwear for what feels like the umpteenth time, I cling to the hope that one day, she will use the potty, and I won’t be knee-deep in this mess. Yet, I also remember that I may soon have another child to potty train, leading to even more tiny undies to clean up.
Ah, the joys of parenthood!
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