“Why don’t you have kids yet?” “Do you plan to have children?” “When are you going to start a family?” These intrusive questions are all too familiar for many women who are childless past a certain age. It strikes me as odd that people feel entitled to pry into someone’s family planning. If you’re close enough to someone to warrant such inquiries, you likely already know their situation—if not, why invade their privacy?
The reasons these questions can be offensive are plentiful. Recently, celebrity chef and author, Marissa Baker, opened up about her own struggles with infertility on a talk show, shedding light on a crucial reason to abstain from asking women about their intentions regarding children: it can be deeply painful. Marissa shared that she and her partner, Tim, have faced various fertility challenges, and the questions keep coming. She remarked, “We would’ve loved to have kids years ago, but it’s been quite the journey!”
Instead of brushing off such inquiries, Marissa takes a different approach: “Whenever someone asks me about having kids, I tell them, ‘One day, you might ask that of someone who’s really struggling, and it could hurt them deeply,’” she explained. “I really dislike that. So, please stop!”
Her sentiments resonate profoundly. It’s hard to fathom how nosy some people can be. After all, you never know what someone might be going through. For instance, what would you say to a woman who responds with, “I can’t have kids; we’ve been trying for years,” or to a man who says, “My childhood was traumatic, and it makes me hesitant about parenting”? There are also those who simply do not desire children, and that’s their choice too.
We need to stop assuming that A) everyone wants children and B) that they owe you a detailed explanation of their family-building journey. During the same segment, Marissa’s co-host, Ella Sutton, broke down while revealing her own fertility challenges and how exhausting it is to field the question, “Why don’t you have kids?”
Let’s put an end to these intrusive queries once and for all.
If you’re interested in alternative paths to parenthood, consider exploring at-home insemination options. You can find valuable resources, such as the Cryobaby At-Home Insemination Kit, which can be a great start on your journey. For more detailed information on fertility treatments, check out this excellent resource on what to expect during your first IUI.
In summary, it’s essential to respect people’s choices regarding parenthood and to recognize that questions about family planning can be hurtful. Let’s be more considerate and stop asking women why they don’t have children.
Keyphrase: Why you shouldn’t ask women about kids
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