The moment has arrived when I’ve accepted that I’ll never be the “cool mom,” and honestly, that suits me just fine.
Let’s rewind to our teenage years for a second. Remember when your mom did something classically “mom-like” that made you cringe? You probably thought, “When I have kids, I won’t ever do that!” And then, surprise! You have kids and suddenly find yourself in the very role you swore you’d avoid.
I have no desire to be my daughter’s “#bestie.” It’s simply not on my parenting agenda, and I feel strongly about this. My own mother wasn’t my best friend growing up. I certainly didn’t rush home to share the details of my first kiss at 15, which I’m sure she appreciated. I can only imagine her reaction upon hearing that some lanky teenage boy was smooching her daughter. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!” would probably be my response too. Thankfully, I have a few years to hone my reactions.
I was a late bloomer when it came to dating, but now that I’m a mom, 15 feels incredibly young. Friends who teach have told me that kids as young as 12 are getting into things I didn’t even know existed at that age. The thought of this reality makes my stomach churn. It’s enough to make me consider purchasing a blowtorch for when boys come knocking on my door. “Hey, Berkley, want to ride bikes?” “BACK OFF, JIMMY! Or you’ll meet my new friend, the blowtorch.”
Kids today are exposed to so much inappropriate content at an early age, which is why I can’t bring myself to say, “I’m a cool mom!” like in “Mean Girls.” I refuse to be that parent who turns a blind eye to inappropriate texts or allows my daughter to hang out with her boyfriend behind closed doors. Underage drinking? Not happening under my roof because “at least they’re home and safe.” And there’s no way I’ll let her sleep over at her boyfriend’s house, even if he’s the perfect student who volunteers on weekends. Sorry, but no one needs to see her dressing like she just stepped out of “Moulin Rouge.”
Am I a “Hover Mom”? The term might conjure images of overly cautious mothers who see danger everywhere, but I’m proud to keep a watchful eye over my kids. When did being protective become a bad thing? Sure, I’m not saying my kids will never have privacy, but I believe it’s my job to guide them through tough decisions and the consequences that come with them.
I want my daughter to respect and love me, just as I aim to support her as she navigates her teenage years. Eventually, I hope to transition into one of her closest friends, much like my relationship with my mom now. That bond blossomed once I got married, and while she’ll always be my mom first, she’s also one of my best friends.
But for now, while my daughter is still young and shielded from the harsh realities of life, I am not her best friend. I am her mother.
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In summary, I embrace my role as a mother over the notion of being my daughter’s best friend. I prioritize protecting her innocence while also allowing her the space to grow and learn. As she matures, I hope to cultivate a friendship that mirrors the one I share with my own mother today.
Keyphrase: “parenting and friendship”
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