Dear Friends,
You might recognize my son, Lucas. He’s the one who sometimes shouts out answers instead of waiting for his turn. He’s the one who brings laughter with his wild spinning and running in circles. He’s also the one who might unintentionally hurt your feelings when you ask him something and he doesn’t respond. You may feel uneasy when his smile suddenly changes to a more intense expression or when he occasionally hits the teacher or tosses chairs around.
I want to share something important with you: Lucas is autistic.
You may not fully understand what that means right now, but it’s something that may resonate with you as you grow. What truly matters is that Lucas genuinely wants to be your friend. I’ve witnessed him reach out to you, asking to play, though sometimes he’s too far away for you to hear him. There are moments when he accidentally knocks down your block tower, followed by his invitation to join him in a game. At home, he mentions your names, calling you his friends. While it might be confusing, he believes you understand this, even if he doesn’t express it verbally.
I want to thank you for your endless patience and kindness. Even when he gets upset and yells or pushes, I see you by his side the next day, ready to play again and sometimes even giving him a hug. Your ability to forgive is remarkable.
What worries me is the day you might stop being so understanding and start judging him. I fear that you might get tired of his outbursts or become frustrated with his lack of eye contact.
I’m concerned about the moment teasing begins because he says things that don’t quite make sense or speaks in a way that seems different from what you’re used to. Those reactions often stem from fear and confusion.
Please remember that beneath his sometimes challenging behavior, Lucas cares deeply about you. He truly wants to connect and be your friend.
Did you know that 1 in 68 children are now diagnosed with autism? That means in your preschool, it’s likely that a couple of you may have similar challenges to Lucas. For those of you who also struggle with social interactions, it might be even more difficult to understand each other.
Keep in mind, the scrapes and bruises you may have from playful interactions with Lucas will heal over time, thanks to the love of your families. However, the invisible wounds he might carry from unkind looks or harsh words could linger much longer.
You have the power to choose compassion and to set a positive example for others. Despite my fears for Lucas, I hold hope that you will continue to show respect, even when it may not be reciprocated.
With love,
The Mother of Lucas