Updated: April 15, 2021
Originally Published: August 28, 2015
Recently, we took our 14-year-old daughter, Mia, on a week-long trip to the stunning North Shore of Oahu. While some parents might dread the thought of spending time in a condo with a teenage girl, we actually think she’s quite delightful. She’s generally respectful, doesn’t throw tantrums, and keeps her eye-rolling to a minimum.
After enjoying a week alone on the Big Island, my husband and I were relaxed and eager to share the island’s magic with Mia, who had never been there before. However, despite our excitement, she seemed anxious and out of sorts. She voiced feelings of being “out of place” and expressed concerns about sun exposure (that’s my job as a parent!). It appeared that she was struggling to immerse herself in the moment—something that, from my own adolescence, I remember as a carefree time.
Mia’s distractions weren’t typical—she wasn’t preoccupied with beach sights but rather with an internal list of worries about school, high school applications, and the ISEE exams. I reassured her that those concerns would be waiting for her when we returned, urging her to enjoy her vacation. She simply shook her head.
We strolled along the beach in Haleiwa, where majestic Hawaiian sea turtles bask on the sand—an experience unique to this paradise. Mia glanced at them, nodded, and turned back toward the condo. The following day at Sunset Beach, she fretted about the waves being “too big” (they were perfectly fine) and complained about the hot sand. Despite our attempts to encourage her to join in on the fun, she remained hesitant and anxious.
The turning point came at Waimea Bay, where, in summer, the beach is transformed into a vibrant playground. The bay is famous for its gentle waters, excellent snorkeling, and often, playful spinner dolphins. A popular attraction is the iconic rock, a towering black lava boulder that rises dramatically from the sand. Having jumped from it myself twice, I knew how daunting it could feel from the top.
Initially, Mia dismissed the rock as something “not her thing,” but as we watched others leap into the water, her curiosity piqued. Finally, she declared to my husband, “I’m going to jump off that rock.” With determination, she climbed to the top, positioned herself, and leaped.
Much to her surprise, she landed with a splash, describing the impact humorously as akin to “landing on a bidet set to high.” Afterward, her mood shifted significantly. It seems the experience served as a wake-up call to her, and we celebrated Mia’s leap into spontaneity!
Throughout our vacation, I hoped that by observing her parents relaxing, snorkeling, and enjoying life, Mia would rediscover the joy of play. For much of the trip, she seemed more like a stressed executive than a carefree teenager, which concerned me. Life won’t always present a rock to jump from, nor an exhilarating moment to shake her out of her worries. Ultimately, the most valuable lesson I wish to impart is the importance of playfulness. I have my work cut out for me.
For more insights on parenting during these pivotal years, be sure to check out our other blog posts, including tips on using a home insemination kit for those considering expanding their family. It’s a fascinating topic worth exploring, and for more information, visit this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation.
Summary:
Encouraging a 14-year-old girl to reconnect with her playful side can be challenging, especially in the face of teenage anxieties. A recent trip to Oahu served as a reminder of the importance of living in the moment and embracing spontaneity. By participating in fun activities and witnessing her parents enjoy life, Mia ultimately discovered the joy of play—an essential lesson for all adolescents.
Keyphrase: teaching teenagers to play
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