Isn’t it strange how we grow more at ease with ourselves even as the clock keeps ticking? Youth and beauty can often leave us feeling anxious and discontented. As Helen Mirren once said, one of the perks of aging is learning to release the little things.
We all have that moment—when you catch a glimpse of yourself reflected in someone else’s eyes, and it hits you like a ton of bricks. I play trivia at a local bar weekly with coworkers, most of whom are younger. They want me on their team for my knowledge of obscure pop culture, from the intricacies of Sanskrit deities to trivia about Pink Floyd and 70s adult films. We indulge in fried pickles and maybe a drink or two too many, sometimes fabricating answers just for laughs. Recently, one of the younger women left her wallet behind, so I covered her tab—playfully teasing her as I handed my card to the waiter.
“It’s fine,” he said to her, “sometimes my mom has to bail me out too.” Yes, you heard right. I could be her mother. Or his.
I was aware of the age gap, but it’s been gnawing at me ever since. It stings more, especially since I recently shared a full-body photo online, openly discussing my age. I’m 47. Why did I put that out there? Now, people will start commenting on “how she looks for her age,” or “I can’t believe she still does that at her age.” Do only pretentious people use terms like “tech-savvy”?
And then there’s menopause looming on the horizon. Is that the phase where you surrender everything? Beauty? Energy? Sanity? The internet offers a list titled “10 Benefits of Menopause,” but let’s be real:
- You can say goodbye to your period.
- You’ll be ecstatic about that.
- No more buying feminine hygiene products—yay!
- You can’t get pregnant anymore!
- No more PMS, since, well…
- No periods! That’s pretty cool, right?
- And did I mention no periods?
Another website touts women in their 50s as “the new face of menopause,” but every woman featured has had some form of plastic surgery. That’s all well and good, yet don’t sell me the idea that “50 is the new 30” with images of women trying to defy nature itself. Why not just embrace 50 as the new 50?
I know it won’t be smooth sailing, and I’m certain I’ll have a meltdown akin to a scene from Death Becomes Her at least once in the coming years. Growing up, I often heard the Oil of Olay models confidently proclaiming, “I refuse to grow old gracefully. I’ll fight it every step of the way.” They’re referring to lotion for your face, not scaling Everest. Isn’t it amusing how they spin a pseudo-feminist narrative around what is essentially a fruitless aspiration?
The truth is, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to value health, well-being, and meaningful connections far more than the latest creams, cosmetics, or surgical procedures designed to uphold a facade. Chasing an unrealistic beauty standard only leads to disappointment, one that sets us up to fail from the moment we buy into it.
But hey, don’t mind me. I’m just spirited.
This piece originally appeared on The Sisterwives.
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Summary
Embracing aging can be challenging, but it also offers a chance to appreciate health, relationships, and self-acceptance. Rather than striving for unrealistic beauty standards, it’s essential to find joy in one’s age and experience.
Keyphrase: Aging gracefully
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