“Don’t hesitate to try a nipple shield,” I casually told a woman I just met. “Cracked nipples? The absolute worst!”
“Brace yourself for some very orange diapers!” I warned another mom about to introduce her little one to sweet potatoes for the first time.
It’s often hard to distinguish between close friends and mere acquaintances in conversations among new mothers. The challenges of motherhood bring about an unexpected intimacy that blossoms almost instantly. Normally, I wouldn’t dispense such advice to someone I barely know, but if you’re a new mama attending our breastfeeding support group? Welcome to our circle!
As I navigate my early 30s, I’ve noticed my social circles shifting toward parenting. Two of my dear friends welcomed babies within a year of my own, and it’s been incredible to share these experiences with them. There’s no need for a lengthy vetting process — I already know they’re fantastic individuals, and now we simply weave parenting into our chats. These are my ‘friends who are moms.’
Having friends who truly understand that movie night now begins after the baby is asleep is invaluable. They send out invites with “babies welcome :),” and our little ones aren’t seen as burdens, but rather a part of our shared experience. ‘Friends who are moms’ have taken on this new hobby of parenthood alongside me, and it’s sweet.
However, I’ve also met an entirely different type of ‘mom friends’ — women I likely wouldn’t connect with if it weren’t for our similar timelines of motherhood. They are lovely, indeed, but I often find I can recount Caden’s favorite book and the latest naptime routine while knowing very little about his mother beyond her identity as a fellow mom. She is primarily just another mother to me, a ‘mom friend.’
The line between these two groups is fluid, thankfully. Many of my ‘friends who are moms’ began as just faces in a breastfeeding group, but now their personalities shine through their social media posts and the articles they share. Our conversations have evolved beyond parenting, encompassing discussions about jobs, relationships, and life, creating a more holistic view of one another.
I anticipate that my network of ‘mom friends’ will grow as my child begins to make her own friends (I hear birthday parties bring a whole new level of excitement for parents!). I’ll need to sharpen my small talk skills and remember to tread lightly on sensitive topics. Over time, supervised playdates will turn into my daughter forging her own friendships, and those ‘mom friends’ will just be known as “Sarah’s mom” in the background.
For now, I find myself in an amusing situation, discussing nipple creams and baby poop with women I met only moments ago. This odd sense of familiarity among ‘mom friends’ develops quickly. We’re all craving adult connection and reassurance that our experiences and children are ‘normal,’ leading us to cling to one another for shared experiences and validation. While these situational friendships may not run as deep as my long-standing ones, they hold their own necessary place in our lives.
In the world of motherhood, every connection, no matter how fleeting, has its significance. And if you’re considering your own journey into parenthood, there are great resources available at March of Dimes to help you navigate your options, or explore home insemination kits like the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo and the Babymaker At Home Insemination Kit for your unique needs.
In summary, the distinction between ‘mom friends’ and ‘friends who are moms’ highlights the range of relationships that can form during the transformative experience of motherhood. Whether through shared experiences or common interests, these connections are essential for navigating the ups and downs of parenting.
Keyphrase: Mom Friends vs. Friends Who Are Moms
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