By: Laura Thompson
When my child voiced his worries about starting first grade, I instinctively reacted, drawing on my own experiences as a child of immigrants. It felt as though I was channeling my inner Freud. Like me, my little one is navigating a new terrain; however, his situation is different. My husband and I moved to North America years ago, and while we primarily speak English at home, our son, Noah, is already familiar with reading and writing in it.
Unlike my own experiences, Noah isn’t entering a completely foreign environment. His kindergarten teacher took the class to visit the schoolyard several times, and he’s been playing there since he was a toddler. He’s attended preschool in the same building, so he knows some teachers and even the secret nooks of the school. This contrasts sharply with my memories of stepping into the unknown.
As I reflected on my connection with Noah, I realized I often struggle to bond with him due to differences in gender and upbringing. In this instance, I missed a golden opportunity to connect through active listening. Instead of focusing on his feelings, I inadvertently shifted the conversation to my own childhood. I didn’t need to provide answers; I simply needed to allow him to express himself.
Tomorrow, when Noah wakes up, I won’t be perfect. I’m sure I’ll overlook other cues, but we’ll have another conversation about first grade. I’ll ask the question that children frequently pose: “Why?” but this time, I’ll truly listen.
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In summary, while it’s normal for children to feel anxious about new experiences, it’s essential for us as parents to listen and validate their feelings rather than project our own experiences onto them. Tomorrow, I aim to create a space for Noah to share his thoughts and worries, ensuring he feels heard and understood.
Keyphrase: “anxiety about first grade”
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