Meet your little miracle: a cheerful, easily pleased infant. His caregivers often describe him as “easygoing” and “relaxed.” He only drools when teething and rarely has any spit-up incidents. By four months, he’s already sleeping soundly for 7-8 hours at a stretch. At family gatherings, he is passed around like a cherished toy without a hint of separation anxiety. On the rare occasions he does fuss, a quick cuddle, a bottle, or a jaunt outdoors calms him down in no time.
This perfect little being is your firstborn. Sure, there are a few challenging moments as you navigate parenthood, but overall, you’ve hit the jackpot. He’s an easy baby.
But don’t let this fool you. This is a trick baby, and he is dangerous.
Having a trick baby can inflate your parental confidence beyond measure. You’ll find yourself scrolling through bookmarked articles on sleep training, smirking at how you’ve managed perfectly without them. You might even feel a twinge of guilt when your sleep-deprived friend, whose baby cries endlessly unless held, asks you how your little one is doing. After all, your baby doesn’t do any of that. He’s a trick baby.
Your trick baby presents a dangerous illusion: that parenting is a breeze. You’ll watch him sleep peacefully in his crib, gently stroking his back, and then sneak off to enjoy seven hours of uninterrupted sleep yourself. You might even think that you possess some sort of genetic advantage, believing that you’ve simply been blessed with the easiest infant in the neighborhood.
But here’s the kicker: your trick baby will lead you to believe that this is the norm. You’ll attempt to share your “parenting struggles” with your mom-friends, only to realize how out of touch you sound.
“He had a bit of trouble falling asleep last night because of teething—it took, like, 15 whole minutes!”
Even as you say it, you’ll sense the awkwardness creeping in. You know it’s absurd, but you can’t help it. You’re dealing with a trick baby.
The biggest trick of all? Your seemingly perfect little angel will convince you that having another baby right away is a fantastic idea. Why wouldn’t you? Just look at how seamlessly your trick baby fits into your life!
But be cautious. Trick babies are deceptive. If you’re fortunate enough to have one as your firstborn, relish every moment of his delightful disposition. However, don’t let yourself be misled. Your trick baby is a rare gem, and your subsequent children are likely to be far more typical—potentially colicky, clingy, and prone to projectile spit-up.
Before you know it, you might find yourself caring for two little ones born just 18 months apart, one of whom is a screaming bundle of joy that no one wants to hold. This is exactly what trick baby wants, as he has just mastered walking and is ready to explore.
Trick baby understands that if he can ensnare your good sense early on, it’ll serve him well later. By the time his curiosity reaches its peak, you might be too exhausted or out of shape to keep up with him.
Don’t even think about blaming trick baby for your lapse in judgment when the time comes. No one will sympathize with you, especially not your friend whose child still isn’t sleeping through the night. And since your trick baby sleeps so soundly, you can’t even use sleep deprivation as an excuse when your second child arrives. You’ll be a frazzled mess, with your new baby clinging to you like a life raft while trick baby tries to conquer the living room like a mini Mount Everest.
That, my friend, is the curse of the trick baby. Consider yourself warned.
This article originally appeared on August 15, 2015.
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Summary
Having a trick baby can create a false sense of confidence in new parents, leading them to believe that all babies are as easygoing. However, this illusion can result in poor decision-making, such as having another baby too soon. While it’s essential to cherish the moments with your first child, parents should prepare for the reality that future children may be more challenging. Trick babies are rare anomalies in the parenting journey.
Keyphrase: “trick baby”
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